Entering Wembley almost two hours before kick-off, I saw Piers Morgan being interviewed. In my best Estuary English I said as I passed: "You ain't no Arsenal fan, Piers." Piers peered at me. To be fair to the negative hack, he soon regained his composure and resumed gassing, though why anyone would listen escapes me. This episode reminds me of an ex-colleague's story. He likes the horses and knew a stable-lad whom everyone asked for tips despite no recommendation ever winning. Ever! These days the public can also lay horses (as well as back them), so such consistently poor advice is invaluable. Think of it like this: if you could pick the 43 numbers that would not be drawn in the National Lottery, you'd have what it takes to hit the jackpot.

To the game. Chelsea just about deserved their win. We started brightly but the extra day's rest may have been crucial. Like said stable-lad, we were never really at the races. ITV typically ignored the offside decision incorrectly given against Theo at 1-0 and, when Malouda shoved Cesc from behind in the box, brushed over an obvious penalty. We ain't no Manchester United, you see.

At 25, Ivanovic was Chelsea's youngest player. Any Chelsea improvement will depend on yet more expensive signings. Only Kolo (28) and squad player Silvestre (31) were over 25. Read the quote on page 21 of the programme attributed to Arsene back in February: "When they're all 23 or 24, they will comfortably beat all other teams, believe me". That's a bold statement from our professor, who's not known for hyperbole.

The great man was scathing of the Wembley pitch, calling it a "disaster" - perhaps "disgrace" is a better description. In my typically narcissistic way I recalled old and not-so-old pieces in Gooner Towers posted by yours truly. The first recommended using our (then) very own Paul Burgess as a consultant to sort out the world's most famous cabbage patch. (Little did I know that our multi award-winning head groundsman would soon be headhunted by Real Madrid.) In the second, after Roma at home, I recalled incidents where people had eventually agreed with my stance or viewpoint, never expecting Arsene to join the list of converts. Lovely to have you on board, boss. At an Arsenal Supporters’ Trust bash in the Diamond Club, I once mentioned the poor Wembley turf to an Arsenal director, who assured me the groundsman was "first rate". When Brazil visited, the programme alluded to Wembley's "lush" grass. These are whoppers of Downing Street proportions.

If you are still feeling down today (as I am), remember that, since February 7th, Aston Villa have no wins and no clean sheets in eleven matches in all competitions.

Come on Piers, write off Arsenal's chances over two legs against the Mancs. It's the lift we need right now.