We Are Sorry

File Under: Gallows Humour

24 July, 2011 10:00

(well, delivered by) Doktor Schneide 14 comments

SUBSCRIBE TO THE GOONER

In recent weeks, we have been appalled to discover that rogue elements within this world famous and illustrious organisation have criminally conspired to drag it in a downwards direction.

We have become painfully aware that in recent times we have failed to reach the high standards that we have ourselves set and which you expect.

We are profoundly sorry for the hurt and distress that many thousands of you have suffered as a consequence.

We truly regret not acting more quickly in sorting out this terrible mess.

But we assure you all, right here and right now, that things will fundamentally change in order for us to move on and put this whole sorry episode behind us once and for all.

In order to deliver us from this mess, we have drawn up a 4 point plan:

1. We have introduced a new home shirt (only £45 and available online. Why not put a number and player name on it too!)

2. We have introduced a new away shirt (again, only a mere £45!) which incorporates our traditional colour scheme

3. We’re trying really hard to get more money for Fabregas and Nasri

4. Better and more suitable replacements have already been scouted at U15 academies all over Inverness

We are sure that this plan will provide the platform for ensuring the continuance of bonanza share prices and who knows – perhaps even bring an honour or two in this great game of, er... soccer.

Yours Sincerely,
Ivan, Stan and the guys

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14
comments

GaryFootscrayAustralia
Jul 26, 2011, 5:29 #10252

Steve Smith, NO I would NOT rather wear blue than yellow. This is an Arsenal shirt....are there no other clothes in the world that are blue? Crikey, if you're that desperate for something blue, take yourself to Ben Sherman, Ed Hardy or Ted Baker. They'll quite happily rip off your hard - earned for something in blue for a similar price, the difference being that the tailoring of their gear may well be of a higher quality than the new kit. Steve H, you represent the new breed of Arsenal merchandise consumer that the brand marketers are looking to sell their products to. Whether you're a supporter of the football side of the club, and all the tradition that goes with it, remains open to question. Go ahead, wear your Chelsea / Spurs away kit and be happy with it. Meanwhile, there's thousands of us that consider club colours and what they represent in terms of club history to be more important than "what colour looks good with jeans". If that's the standard, let's get Trinny and Susannah to design next year's kit and choose the colours and be done with it, eh? Maybe a nice fuschia with lime green pinstripe for next year's home kit...don't worry, it goes well with slacks and a blazer...
Andy
Jul 25, 2011, 22:44 #10251

Subtle change of tact time... If you want to wear a blue kit , f*** off down the road to Chelski ha ha ha!
Steve Smith
Jul 25, 2011, 21:42 #10250

Erm... Don't quite know how to say this but, I quite like the new away kit actually. I know Yellow is traditional but I mean come on... Who wants to wear a yellow shirt? I'm sure that the majority of people would rather wear blue than yellow if given the choice, hence the change.
Steve H
Jul 25, 2011, 21:14 #10249

Why don't you go back to the stone age 70's Big Dave post 11283. I'm happy to buy the new away kit and if they want to change the kit colours or the name of the club I don't care, There's a new breed of fan now move over and P*** Off
PerryG
Jul 25, 2011, 16:54 #10244

I'm sorry Eric but the media are big and ugly enough to have an opinion for themselves, based on the current state the team is in. You dont make any sense for the rest of your rambling piece. Are you Wenger in disguise?
Big Dave
Jul 25, 2011, 10:59 #10234

The new away shirts are an abomination any so called Arsenal fan who buys and wears that shirt is a disgrace, and a dammed fool for falling for the corporate B.S.
eric
Jul 24, 2011, 22:24 #10228

@perry, listen chicken little, love the club as you might, the real value of your support or not is whether you turn up for games, pay for the merchandise etc etc,carping from the sidelines may make you look big and clever, but i have an education enough to realise most of the negative press in the media emanates here, i cannot see this place as a forum for people with ideas that can improve the club, it is a one trick pony- bash wenger and foreigners and that's it. i was a little lazy earlier but the point i wished to make really is rather than talk endlessly about a bad kit or whinge about £45. lets see some direct action ala newton heath for less. or something. but i am wasting my time- this mental masturbation can be addictive, i wouldn't like to get between you and your habit.
PerryG
Jul 24, 2011, 18:08 #10223

Poor Lil Eric its you who needs the education, a football one for a start. Get out of your bubble and you'll see the real Arsenal fans are here despairing at the direction our club is going in
GaryFootscrayAustralia
Jul 24, 2011, 15:59 #10220

Whether people agree or not with the tone or angle of this piece, or those similarly written over the past few months that are critical of the football club / plc...can we at least be mature enough to agree that The Arsenal's away colours are Yellow and Royal Blue, not something that looks half Spurs half Chelsea? Of course, the best way to get that across to the fatheads in accounts / marketing / Arsenal Fashion House should be to not buy any away kit that isn't yellow & blue...or am I being a bit too simplistic? I imagine there's a whole new generation of kids wanting kit that may be distanced from the truth of the club's tradition, especially post - Highbury, so wouldn't care what colour the kit is, as long as it's the newest and they've got one...but the adults have no excuse...
edeusi
Jul 24, 2011, 15:32 #10218

We also play beautifull game - extra few pounds for average ticket is ok to maintain the beauty of our game
tippytappynevershooty
Jul 24, 2011, 11:12 #10213

time to forget all this crap and get behind the team, which does have some class players still and we should back them with our support.Wenger will get found out this year and that will give us our club back - its a brand new season and we are the arsenal!
eric
Jul 24, 2011, 9:57 #10207

haha, only clicked because of the title, i thought for once the internet bullies had been forced to come to terms with the level of hurt that you have caused a lot of younger arsenal fans, but more fool me, the online gooner wont change his spots, he is not going to do any research, he is not going to try anything fresh- he is going to die a sad and miserable death because he thinks he can go up against a multimillion pound organisation with these pathetic whines. mate(s), get on with your life, you are showing little education and less class with this tired old rag. think about it!
money money money
Jul 24, 2011, 9:39 #10206

arsene please go back to france and manage PSG and then you will appreciate the chance you had but squandered at AFC
Rhyle
Jul 24, 2011, 9:21 #10205

Now I don't think that's fair! The new shirts DO have a pretty badge and it is their birthday - they're entitled to be happy, optimistic and to ask for what they want