Ian Tanner
I’ve waited patiently to pen that headline worthy of the allusion to Supertramp. After several early German attacks, it was entirely logical that Alex Song scooped 66% of the votes in Arsenal.com’s online pole after Borussia Dortmund had surrendered. I could watch that first goal time and again but please do not forget his superb control and killer pass for our fifth at “The Bridge” recently. Alex does his job with the minimum of fuss. Unlike some supporters at “Craven Cottage”, his manager knew then of what he would one day be capable. Enough.
Aaron Ramsey scooped a massive 1% (to one significant figure) of the vote. He thus shared equal fourth with no fewer than six other starters. Koscielny deserved both his standing ovation when substituted and (Arsenal) MOTM third place with a monumental 2%. A chap called Robin van Persie, he of the chocolate right leg only used to stand on, the guy who’s no centre forward, or captain material for that matter, an injury waiting to happen due to a fine pair of fake glass ankles, was second with 24%. Poor Gervinho, again without a goal and at 0%, was last in his own right. If you’ve been keeping tally, you’ll know already that the above sums to just 99(%), not 100. That may be an Arsenal.com typo – heck, there are plenty, so one can never be sure – but it’s more likely due to rounding.
Before moving on, I’d better add that I like our new Ivorian, nominated for the African Footballer of the Year award. He gives our attacks another dimension and is a real handful. Ribbed for being “follically challenged” from a young age, I’ve always retorted that I have a high forehead, as indeed I do. But Gervinho is in a league of his own! He owes RVP one, mind, for being around to convert our first at Carrow Road. Otherwise he’d have featured in Miss of the Season videos for his failed reverse back-heel with pike and unintended step-over whilst falling over routine.
Whether you prefer to cite our recent all competitions W-D-L record as 8-1-0 or 11-1-1, the upturn in form is stark. For now, the AMG (Arsene Must Go) brigade, an offshoot of the EMG (Everyone Must Go) brigade, are hopefully re-assessing their stance. Perhaps some will point to this season’s signings – four of Wednesday night’s starting XI were not at the club last season, Szczesny was still kicking his heels behind even Mannone (despite my best efforts to big him up in these pages), Ramsey was still recovering from the unwanted attentions of Ryan Shawcross, The Verminator was long-term injured (though we didn’t know that at the time) and Theo was still running up numerous blind alleys, having forgotten to take his ball – as proof to their argument that Doctor Wenger needed to conduct major (not cosmetic) surgery, that such has happened and proven successful. As a Libran, The Scales are my star sign and I can see merits to various arguments. There’ll never be a meeting of minds, so let’s not squabble amongst ourselves, fellow children.
But before we forget about the Champions League until our next meaningful match in February, and turn our attention to avoiding relegation, there’s the small matter of Match Day 6. That we are the only English team to have qualified, and with top spot secured to boot, is incredible after not only our torrid start but the strength shown initially by England’s three “super clubs”, as they’ve been dubbed and (financially) doped. It’s probably too much to hope that all three will fail and fall in a fortnight but wouldn’t it be wonderful if at least one, hopefully two, did so? Whereas the extra monies for Champions League progression is like loose change to the owners of Chelski and Citeh, those additional shillings make a huge difference at our less exulted level. But it’s not about money for these egomaniacs. Citeh recently announced losses of an eye-watering £195m. To put that in to context, Arsenal’s market capitalisation (share price x number of shares in issue) is about £670m based on the price Silent Stan paid to gain effective control. Like Roman at Chelski, Citeh’s owners are trying to buy arguably the top prize in global club sport. Ultimately they may well be successful but it would be nice to know, in two weeks’ time, that they’ll have to wait at least another 17½ months to satisfy their lust. They are disgusting.
For those still wanting a big name(s) signing in January, first answer this question: who would you leave out to accommodate the returning Jack Wilshere? In the pre-match “A Word with the Boss” on the big screen, Arsene (can you hear clearly what he’s saying?) was asked about Theo’s recent fine form. He replied that improvements can be made between the ages of 20 and 22. Ramsey will be 21 on Boxing Day and the prospect of him and Jack in Arsene’s engine room for the next decade is a mouth-watering one. Whom to drop is a problem not just for another day but, sadly, for another year, as mid-January is the earliest that Spring-heeled Jack will stop twittering (and goading fans of The Spuds) and resume playing.
