Mustafa Goldstein
A surreal and entertaining encounter between Lukas Podolski’s former and present employers produced four goals and an interesting insight into what the new season might hold for the Gunners. Surreal, because the appearance of Van Persie for Podolski brought forth a peculiar mixture of chants including not only the usual ‘Robin Van Persie’ song we know and love but also, to the same tune, ‘F*** Off Van Persie’ combined with a small handful of unconvincing boo’s whenever Arsenal’s saviour of 2011/12 was on the ball.
By the time you read this, he may well be gone, but on the 12th of August in the Rhein Energie Stadion he was still an Arsenal player who might yet still have played a crucial part in a championship winning season of 2012/13. So wasn’t making him feel unloved a tad un-diplomatic if not downright daft?
Not least because this was arguably the strongest Arsenal squad I’d seen for several years. Even with Eddie ‘Jenkinson’ McGoldrick playing the second half, the addition of Poldi (his German nickname), Giroud and Cazorla made Arsenal look like an outfit which – were a certain striker to stay on – might yet challenge for some serious silverware.
Although RVP’s body language was that of someone about to leave the party – the boo-boys certainly weren’t doing the Gaffer any favours had he been entertaining the following option, ‘sod the money, I’ll keep RVP for the season in this strengthened squad whether he likes it or not, win the league and/or the Champions League, thereby convincing said Dutchman [and everyone else] that Arsenal are again the real deal. A gamble, yes, but the sort of action Wenger needs to take if he’s going to leave the club in the same, magnificent manner in which he joined.
RVPgate aside, the sight of Arshavin in an Arsenal shirt was something I thought I’d never see again and, in truth, it wouldn’t bother me much if this [really] was the last time as, even against such poor opposition, he continued to perform like a square peg in a round hole that thinks it’s a triangle.
The same could not be said of Alexandre Song who, apart from some well-dodgy Eighties style, ultra-tight shorts that wouldn’t have looked out of place on Alan Partridge [when he was a small boy], was bossing the mid-field and upping his game in response to the new signings. But had the kit people really run out of Men’s shorts? Or was this some sort of new, non-heterosexual look Mr. Song is cultivating – his attention to detail, including some dainty, white leggings did cause one to wonder. Still, if it takes painfully tight shorts to make him play like that, long may his nads be constricted!
The fact that 1.FC.Köln allowed Diaby, Gervinho and Chamack to look almost world class in the second half was a sobering one, reminding us that – although the Rhein Energie Stadion’s facilities were outstanding, Poldi’s old club were anything but. Incidentally, the stadium was a lovely Highbury shaped and sized ground with all mod-cons and a neat little corner of terracing for away fans. My kind of ground. The fact that the match ticket also included the price of local travel to and from the game was also impressive. Can’t see that ever happening in London.
The new signings? Giroud found himself in several excellent goal scoring positions - opportunities he promptly squandered. Yet his positioning and the fact that his missed chances were at least on target, showed promise. Although not outstanding - hardly surprising as he’d only been with us for ten minutes - Cazorla seemed to fit well into the Arsenal style of play and Herr. Podolski’s brace capped a competent performance on his emotional fairwell to the club where he’d become a folk hero. How Arsenal were awarded a penalty for his first goal is anyone’s guess, but the German despatched it like… well, a German and the second, after good work from Gibbsy (?) too was clinical.
Wally Walcott looked refreshingly incisive on the right wing and the Ox, an awful mistake in which he set up a one-on-one with Manone for 1.FC.Köln aside, looked his usual sprightly self. It was one of a handful of squandered chances for the home side. In another, Manone showed us why Szczesny is Arsenal’s number one by spilling a training ground shot which, had the crossbar not come to his rescue, would have drooped off his paws, over his head and into the net in a manner befitting an old Charlie Brown cartoon.
When Szczesny did appear in the second half, his woodwork was rattled by 1.FC.Köln’s best chance, a thunderous shot that hit the underside of the bar and bounced off the line and out for an easy catch.
Despite one of three Kanu-esque Gervinho runs down the left flank resulting in a fourth for the Gunners, the second half line-up of RVP, Arschavin, Chamack, Diaby and Jenkinson was not nearly as effective – or maybe keen is a better word - in the final third as that provided by Messrs. Podolski, Giroud, Cazorla and Walcott.
Yet a clean sheet and Vermaelen’s splendid headed opener for, what is effectively now Steve Bould’s defence, allowed us all to sing Bouldy’s old song and look forward to some markedly stronger defensive performances from the back-four in the coming season, with or without hair.
