Adrian Wagenaar
My father loved to tell the story about a Yorkshire manufacturing company at its AGM, when the accountant voiced an opinion without being asked. The shocked chairman looked at him and told him in no uncertain terms to keep quiet as he was “nowt but scorer”.
My father also felt that as soon as accountants started to have a voice it signalled the “End of Empire” and the ruination of Britain’s manufacturing base. Other anecdotes thrown around are “if a salesman runs a company you end up with no cash and no business” and if an accountant runs a company you end up with “plenty of cash but no business”
The latter is much like Arsenal now, plenty of cash but no longer a football club. I have never liked accountants they always aim low and play safe. I used to work for a family business that was very efficient at producing tooling, the boss was an engineer who was a brilliant innovator and knew how to make goods for a price. Unfortunately he sold the business to a PLC holding company that was run by city accountants.
During our monthly meetings I began to realize that the constraints being put on the business by their “quest for cash” were going to ultimately ruin the business long term. The tipping point for me was when we needed to invest in new machinery to meet the growing demand for our products.
We had narrowed our requirements down to two particular machines, lets call them machine A and machine B (please stick with me on this) Machine A was a very reliable established bit of kit that would work day in day out at a steady rate and would give modest improvements to our manufacturing capabilities. Machine B was a new concept, very slick, exceptionally versatile and in the right hands would significantly improve our output and was the preferred choice of the production director and the technical department.
A “no brainer” you would think – well you think wrong, you see machine A came with cast iron guarantees as to it’s output, a maximum maintenance cost over a 5 year period and the quotation for machine A also gave overhead and running costs. Our money men loved it – it gave them comfort, solace and it also reassured them that it’s residual value over 5 years was X amount of pounds.
Machine A was purchased and our production only marginally improved, however our “financial Johnnies” were very happy because they knew exactly what this bit of kit cost them to run and maintain. That is why Stan Kronke and his board love Wenger, they can set their watches by him and know exactly how much the club will bring in each year.
As Everton gave up the chase at the weekend by losing to Citeh, more because the thought of their rivals taking the title would be just too terrible to contemplate, Stan got out the cigars as Arsene somehow again delivered Champions League football for the umpteenth time in succession.
You see Arsene is that machine A, steady, reliable and to the nearest £1,000 will tell you just how much running Arsenal next year is going to cost. Wenger gives the board “comfort” no shocks, no risks and flogs the odd player here and there for a good profit.
This steady cautious approach means he has a job for life, you see the one thing money men hate is shocks and the unknown and as we all know Wenger can get fourth place each year with his eyes shut! The problem is with “no risks” it also means no titles or trophies, except of course the 4th place trophy – unless this year...
