Fozzy 
Summer footie can’t get much worse than watching yet another woeful performance from our national team and being outdone by a Bernie Winters’ brace following a neat pair of assists from the Scouse thug. Thoughts automatically turn to what’s in store in a couple of month’s time with the return of proper footie, although our first game of the new season means that we will get a visit from the odious Pulis and his lot.
In the past few weeks we have been linked with most players in the world, whether they are available or not. Following the departures of two of our keepers and the much-missed Sagna, there is plenty of room on the bus for more. Alas, Barry Bender is currently stuck in a revolving door but we live in hope.
So who is exactly going to be running out of the tunnel in red at the start of the long awaited first game of the new season? Let’s examine Arsene’s track record during recent summers to get a hint of what we might expect. We can certainly expect him to be busy holding his purse clenched in his hands ready to bid the odd 20p for the likes of Balotelli. The sad truth is that we have been here before in exactly the same position and there is a fair chance that we will end up with absolutely nobody.
We could even be starting the season with a worse deficit. Orville Cazorla wanted the return of Cesc (deep down, didn’t we all?) and you don’t have to be brain of Britain to see Orville being sold on the cheap to Atletico Madrid. Vermaelen obviously doesn’t want hang around with splinters in his arse for the remainder of his career and he will surely jump at going to ManUre. The current round of meaningless internationals in Brazil will no doubt see Marty Feldman, BFG and probably Podolski all crocked before they return to our shores. Wouldn’t it have been nice to have Cesc around if and when that happens? If all this sounds a bit far fetched, just think back to how many times have we seen the World Cup injury curse strike out against us, going back to the likes of Bergkamp and Henry who were pale shadows of themselves after a World Cup summer. And just for good measure The Ox and Walnutt will still be “two weeks away from fitness” when the middle of August comes around.
So there you have it. Worst case scenario we could end up with starting eleven against Palace of Chesney in goal (there is no other), a back four of Bellerin, Jenkinson (emergency centre half), Koscielny, Gibbs, a midfield quartet of Wiggy Arteta, Flamini, Ramsey, Happy Jack, and up front Gnabry and Giroud. Hardly sets the pulse racing. We might even get a glimpse of Joel Campbell who just might make the bench but he would have to wait until 70 minutes to come on, and that’s if Rosicky doesn’t get there first.
We saw the gaps this time last year. We shouted and screamed as best we could through the virtues of modern technology. We shouted and screamed again last January. Nothing happened and yet again we fell away, rescuing our much heralded fourth place trophy by the skin of our teeth. Winning the Cup was just papering over the cracks.
Arsene, the clock is ticking. We don’t want the first game of the season to be a repeat of last season’s opening fixture against Villa, especially as this time around that vile little man wearing a silly cap will be prowling up and down the touchline, whilst you, Arsene, will be on your arse in the dugout blaming everybody apart from yourself for not strengthening the team this summer.
