How Would Arsene Wenger Play Poker?

Perhaps with great spirit and mental strength?



How Would Arsene Wenger Play Poker?


The last few seasons may have seen confidence in Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger's management style drop, but when you think back to his previous successes there's no doubt his tactical brain is one of the finest in the business.

OK, so over the past few seasons he hasn't managed to inspire Arsenal to the league title, but if he were to apply his skills to any other sport that required a high level of cognition he'd do extremely well in my opinion.

For example, take the classic all American game: poker. Over the years a number of footballers have been known to grace the felt and play Texas Hold' em. In fact, Teddy Sheringham and Ronaldo (the Brazilian one) have carved out successful second careers in the poker industry since retiring from football.

Could Wenger do the same? Quite possibly. Given some of his managerial tendencies it's likely he could do quite well in the world of bets and bluffs. For arguments sake, let's breakdown some of the tactics Wenger could use at the poker table to enjoy some success. He could even try his luck online and there are plenty of places to check out where is best to play.

Money Management - There are few football managers who know how to work with less money than Mr. Wenger. Although Arsenal aren’t short of cash, the club is usually tight with its budget and that's forced Wenger to seek out emerging players who don't cost a fortune.

This ability to manage money properly and not spend more than you can afford is a crucial skill for all poker players. Because it's easy to lose a lot of money in a short space of time, a skilled player won't ever buy into a game that's too expensive. As a general rule, all players should have 100X the cost of a game in their bankroll. Just as Wenger only has a few million to spend on players each year, such as the £20 million the Daily Mirror in the UK claims he will be offered in January, so poker players only have a limited amount of funds to ante-up at the felt.

Flair - Bluffing is key component of any professional poker player's arsenal and Wenger would certainly be the man to pull off one of these moves. Throughout his career at Arsenal, Wenger has managed to inject touches of creativity and flair into his team's passing style. Like a maestro who knows when to turn on the magic just enough to get the job done, Wenger has proved that timing and flair can be a deadly combination.

This premise also holds true at the poker table and one of the reasons Wenger's tactical mind could stand him in good stead against the game's finest. By using a straightforward style for the most part, he could suddenly burst into a flurry of creativity and dupe his opponents just enough to win the pot.

Technique - If there's one thing Wenger is known for it is instilling technique into his players. Intricate passing drills, constant footwork exercises and endless games of one-touch football on the training ground have helped Arsenal sides become passing machines over the last decade.

This focus on technique and the finite details of football would certainly help the Arsenal manager succeed at the poker table. Assessing every little nuance and move would make him a tough player to play against. Of course, he's also going to need a little bit of luck if he wants to become the World Series of Poker champion, but Wenger could easily become as much of a technical wizard at the felt as he is on the sidelines.


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61
comments

  1. maguiresbridge gooner

    Dec 19, 2014, 15:26 #63695

    Cheers westie, Ron, same from myself and to everybody else.

  2. Badarse

    Dec 19, 2014, 12:37 #63687

    Attention Unchives! Attention Unchives! I have just returned from a sortie, I was sussing out WOB HQ, (booby-trapped the Xmas wreath on the door, tee hee), and have had virtually no pain in my knees, best they have felt for a fortnight. One is all right and the other is all left. I am cured! I can see again! Hang on, wrong spiel, I can walk, I can walk! It's a miniscule, (no such things as miracles), 'Oh yeah? How come we have Santa Claus?' No sorry second Badarse in my head, no miracles so there cannot be saints. 'The logic of Mister Spock, first Badarse, please put a sock in it'. That reminds me. Story mainly for westlower and R/K, saw prog of The Goons. Spike had a constant running battle with the BBC Sound Dept. They had accepted sounds and he wanted different and innovative ones for radio. Sellers told the story of Spike wanting a sound of a sock full of custard being slapped against a wall. They were in the canteen and Spike took the bowl of custard from the little lady, 'There you are Min.' (I think she said). He took it, 'Oh dear me Eccles.' (He may have said in reply). Then he casually poured the custard from the bowl into an old sock in front of her. When he hit it against the wall it didn't sound right so he had to think of something else. The BBC sound Dept. are pretty good today, so thanks to Spike.

  3. Ron

    Dec 19, 2014, 11:59 #63685

    Thank you for the rules Westie. I recall them now. Im useless at Cards mate!!Tony - played all of them mate. Many years back now though. Anyway guys. Have a great Xmas all of you. Very best wishes to you all and your families. God bless the lot of you too. Take care guys and lest hope we can get a few good results over Xmas, whatever differences we all have about our great Club.

  4. Westlower

    Dec 19, 2014, 9:18 #63676

    Must be the first and only time all opposing factions seem to agree on something - that Arsene will never make a very good poker player! While this brief period of harmony exists may I send you all my best wishes & that all your Christmas's be RED & WHITE. Let hostilities recommence on Boxing Day, assuming we don't get turned over by Liverpool on Sunday. @Badarse Hope you get some relief from the shrapnel in your knee as we'll only be able to use you on the bench at Anfield. More importantly who's going to do the knees up with Mother Brown? I'm volunteering JJ, as I hear on the grapevine his nickname is twinkle toes. Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder how you are?

  5. radfordkennedy

    Dec 19, 2014, 8:37 #63674

    Morning all enjoyed reading all those memories of toys n games of yesteryear,personally as a kid I couldn't handle anything that had rules I'd get bored very quickly,for me it was either the bike or the football, which when you consider I spent 25 years in a bubble constrained by rules regulations and uniformity and loved every minute an odd career choice...but there is one thing I always wanted in the late sixties santa to bring was one of those buggies the Banana Splits rode around in...I'm still waiting!

  6. Tony Evans

    Dec 19, 2014, 8:19 #63673

    Westie / Ron - had quite a card school going at one time, Newmarket, Brag, Solo Whist, Poker, Gin Rummy and Canasta mostly. Used to really enjoy it and learned most of them from the Pan book of card games by Hubert Phillips - complete with illustrative deals don't you know! Maguiresbridge - yep more than ready mate!

  7. Badarse

    Dec 19, 2014, 8:02 #63672

    Morning all, especially Unchives. Don't want to make you feel bad buddy, oh, alright I do. Have been pretty much housebound, (beats being eggbound, how does that feel?), for the last week or more, though am able to shuffle off to do some necessary duties-joke is I am trying to help a relative who has just come out of hospital. My knees are shot and am getting gyp from them at the moment. Walking 30 yards is a difficulty, and quite painful. Thankfully I can do some of our paperwork, plus some elementary computer tasks at home, when bored I can always count my money. Then there all those Xmas begging letters to write. Friends? Mmm, am very friendly to everyone, friends are few. Look around chum, we are all in the same boat, and I think it's manned by Bard, R/K and JAMIE, ha ha.Happy Xmas though all the same Unchives. Now, where was I? Ah yes, Dear lottery winner...

  8. DW Thomas

    Dec 19, 2014, 1:34 #63671

    Wenger would be the guy at the table that is most easy to read. He'd play by the book and get beat every game. In a cash game he'd be the guy with a standard cheap raise, never all in, always folding when the pot gets too big. He'd have an excuse for any lost hand. Never be his bad play, always the other guy getting lucky!

  9. maguiresbridge gooner

    Dec 18, 2014, 22:46 #63668

    No doubt after been dealt the winning hand he'd contrive to cock it up, (it wouldn't be the first time)dealt a royal flush he'd use the ace to buy four, dealt the perfect house he'd buy a pair to try and make it look better, dealt poker his ego would make him throw three away and try for a bigger one, and all the other players and organisers would have to wait for the seventieth minute of the tournament for him to make up his mind.

  10. Finsbury Joe

    Dec 18, 2014, 22:42 #63667

    Are there trophies for coming 4th in Poker?

  11. Unchives

    Dec 18, 2014, 21:56 #63666

    @ Badarse,and you stayed indoors all day for this? somebody order meals on wheels for this guy! Your in serious no mates trouble friend!

  12. jjetplane

    Dec 18, 2014, 19:05 #63665

    Waffling Wengerites Batman! Flicksy Furthies Robin.

  13. jeff wright

    Dec 18, 2014, 18:47 #63664

    . Wenger is def not a poker player,he is too stressed out and can't bluff for peanuts .He's more of Snap player relying on beating slow witted opponents to the call but all too often chocking when confronted with a players who are as quick-witted or more so than himself . He blames poor lighting and underhand dealing though for his defeats.

  14. Badarse

    Dec 18, 2014, 18:15 #63663

    We have a country friend who always wants to play games-calm down Bard! Newmarket is one game we occasionally play. She is what I call 'country' as she came from a village, has travelled the world, (conservation work, travelling and holidaying), but still remains small town. I like her a lot, but in small doses-I think everyone says that about me, except those who don't like me, and of course those who like me quite a bit more, then there are those who can't stand me, like me a teeny bit, but prefer larger doses, then there are those...@That competitive edge is an odd manifestation, and occurs cloaked in many guises. Donkey's years ago we were invited next door, we had recently arrived in the neighbourhood, mooted we could have a drink and play trivial pursuit during the evening. Bad move, but I was much younger and more naïve then. We drank, laughed, chatted, then played. I am quite a trivial pursuing entity so am OK at the game. It quickly became apparent that as a guest I shouldn't be spanking my hosts. It's just a game, and I like to win, so I wasn't going to ease up. The evening came to a close much earlier than anticipated-probably to do with my victory lap around their front room-but we never became friends. My political views also are difficult to accept when a person's whole existence is based on what I consider to be a false premise. I am never rude-why you guys know that-but I will continue to fight my corner, even when it's only my shadow in the corner. Why even throwing the gauntlet down can rile some people. Have experienced a few scrapes and often been gladdened that there wasn't a, 'settle it at dawn' mentality which still prevailed-otherwise the notches on my gun would have eaten away the handle. Why Butch can vouch for that. English sense of sportsmanship, ha ha.

  15. OBG

    Dec 18, 2014, 18:11 #63662

    How would Arsene Wenger Play Poker!? Easy I'm Out I'm Out I'm Out I'm out I nearly won that hand about 4 seasons ago

  16. Hiccup

    Dec 18, 2014, 17:52 #63661

    How would wenger play poker? Well firstly, if dealt a fantastic winning hand, he would do his utmost to dismantle say a Royal Flush in to a pair of Jacks. Then, on losing out, he would give a wry smirk and pronounce how he could have won the pot. On the first round of betting, wenger will fold when raised 10 pence, muttering there is no value in the game. Wenger will spend most of the evening frozen out the game having folded at any given opportunity, leaving it to the big boys and odd shark to do battle. Basically just making the numbers up. As for a having a poker face, this would be non existant. His permanently distorted anguished face would tell you all is going tits up. Another sh!t hand dealt would be met with hands being flapped. Being raised 5 pence would lead to a skirmish, as the other players flouted any financial sense. Credit where credit's due though, wenger is an exceptional accountant. Hopefully someone could pen an article of how wenger would play football management?

  17. Westlower

    Dec 18, 2014, 17:14 #63660

    @Ron, Rules on how to play Newmarket, Michigan or Stops: The 4 Kings are laid out on the table and 2p bets placed on the 'horse' of your choice. Also 2p is placed in the pot. The cards are dealt with an extra 'floater' hand dealt. The dealer has the option of buying the spare hand if he doesn't fancy the one he dealt himself. The spare hand can only be bought blind. The dealers original hand then becomes redundant. The first player (left of the dealer) puts down the lowest card in any particular suit. If someone else has the next card, they put it down and so on and so on. If the next card in a run isn't held by any of the players (it's in the float) then that player has to start again with with the lowest card from an opposing colour. So if the previous run was Hearts, then the player has to go with Spades or Clubs. If the run reaches a Queen, then the player holding the Queen gets to take all the money from the appropriate King. The game continues until one person has got rid of all their cards. The person then gets to take all the money from the pot. As it's a game for Grans, it should be right up Arsene's street with only 4p staked? Poker player he isn't!

  18. Bard

    Dec 18, 2014, 17:01 #63659

    Westie; the post you refer to was tongue in cheek mate and not serious at all. Im done with with serious for the Christmas break unless we get thrashed by Liverpool.

  19. Bard

    Dec 18, 2014, 16:46 #63658

    I have no idea who the enemy is Baddie but I'll keep fighting on the beaches of this great land until whoever they are are vanquished. Sometimes I find myself waving my arms furiously at my reflection, is it me or is it them.

  20. maguiresbridge gooner

    Dec 18, 2014, 16:39 #63657

    Tony Evans, 67045, you'd have thought after all these years OGL and his team would have prepared you for your foray back into it again.

  21. jjetplane

    Dec 18, 2014, 16:20 #63656

    Whaddabout Blow Football bet Giroud is familiar with a version - snigger all you want bloody schoolboys. Maybe more Robbie Fowler .... just hearing how PL clubs are charging mascots 600 squid for the privilege and you will be pleased to know 'Good old Arsene' do not charge mascots but no doubt they are probably only taken from posh private schools. Humbug me up! Now I have to do the chicken, sweet potatoes and vegetables and it's a day off! Chelski kits are the dearest at near on 80 notes for kiddies! and Spuds (Wembley!) charge 450 for mascots. The price of abuse. Happy day to you WeSTIE. now back to business. You see, Wenger .........

  22. Ron

    Dec 18, 2014, 16:10 #63655

    Westie - brilliant mate. It was me used to throw the frustration board in our house in the air as you may have guessed buddy so you're forgiven!My Mom used to go berserk at the chaos and rows with Sisters.ha. Yes, Newmarket. Good game. I cant recall the rules now though.

  23. Alex

    Dec 18, 2014, 16:10 #63654

    Guys do you think he will sign the DM and CBs we need. Krychowiak, Garay and Laporte would be nice.

  24. Westlower

    Dec 18, 2014, 16:06 #63653

    @Ron/Tony, Really disgraced myself one Christmas when my brother in law brought his family over. I decided to buy Frustration so we could have some fun playing a game after lunch. His wife decided it was nothing to do with fun and set out to win every time. My competitive nature kicked in big time and it was a fight to the death after that. My red mist descended & suffice to say they've never been back for Christmas since. I put Frustration out with the rubbish to prevent further family feuds. I discovered that day that I'm not a good loser but I've mellowed with age since then. My imagination knew no bounds when playing Subbuteo and Arsenal always won. Any of you old farts ever play the card game Newmarket, for pennys, threepence (thrupp-nee bit), sixpence (tanner)? @Bard, If you're a True fan does that make me, Badarse, Lee, Jamie, etc, False fans? With all our perceived differences aren't we all Gooners, true or false?

  25. Badarse

    Dec 18, 2014, 16:01 #63652

    Remember 'Scoop'? That was quite a good little game.

  26. Alex

    Dec 18, 2014, 15:55 #63651

    Why can't this idiot Wenger leave? He is destroyed Arsenal for me. Only a new manager can make me enjoy again. I want this clown huimilaited. Come on Liverpool another 6-0 like last year.

  27. Tony Evans

    Dec 18, 2014, 15:53 #63650

    While we are on the subject of old games another one that springs to mind is 'Shoot'. It was football based tiddlywinks and actually needed quite a lot of skill to be really good at it. Blowing my own trumpet again, but I was just as good at Shoot as I was at Subbuteo - what a competitive little sod I must have been!

  28. jjetplane

    Dec 18, 2014, 15:47 #63649

    Neither are Arsenal for the past decade RON ...

  29. Ron

    Dec 18, 2014, 15:43 #63648

    Baddie - i recall that magnet footie game. I had it and had forgotten its name. The Magnets were so p--s poor in strength that the sword fights became the norm.OK if you moved them very slowly weren't they other wise the magnet stick moved off and the players stood still and you couldn't locate the bloody players base again then ha. But each player moving like Giroud in an oil riggers diving kit didn't make for a riveting game.The ball was as high as the players waist, even Mertersacker would have been able to head it.What memories mate.

  30. Ron

    Dec 18, 2014, 15:32 #63647

    Hi Tony - Yes Monopoly has dated badly hasnt it. My Partner has a large family and when they were kids she and they devised a new set of rules! Too strange to explain on here and i reckon theyve removed the competition element from it (they disagree and theres 8 of them so im not going to argue ha) but there's no doubt it causes more rows than the old rules ever did mate. Im not familiar with 'risk'.

  31. Badarse

    Dec 18, 2014, 15:27 #63646

    Bard is a cage fighter-true the cage is a chicken one in his garden, but his fight club is quite impressive, about as useful as my own. Fight them in Peacocks, fight them on the buses, never in the history of going shopping have so many owed so much to Payday loan companies. I'm with you Bard, who's the enemy, just point me at them! 'Put 'em up! Put 'em up!' (in my best mimicking voice of the Lion in Wizard of Oz). Yes Tony Evans, it was the 'Beano'-I didn't pick that bit up off the floor of my mind, where it fell off the shelf. Yeah Ron, 'Frustration' was my kid's game. They rebranded so many old games-as you say, it was Ludo in a more expensive coat. Cornish, 'Subbuteo' came first in the 50's, with cardboard men. 'Newfooty' was the new kid on the block. It slid off the table, metaphorically speaking-both slipped quietly away for a couple of years. They revamped and remarketed 'Subbuteo' and it took off again. Yes Charlie I remember 'Striker'. I think a version with Shrek would have an advantage because of his Mister Potato Head, (another old game). There was another, 'Soccerette', where the men had magnets in their bases, the plastic pitch was on stilts, and the two players had magnets implanted on plastic sticks. The object of sliding them backwards and forwards under the table invariably ended in sword fights because of the aggressive movements beneath the table-Bard knows all about that!

  32. Tony Evans

    Dec 18, 2014, 15:16 #63645

    Ron - we still have Frustration (a remnant from my daughters younger days) and still play it occasionally. As you say it is well named and may not be a good idea at Christmas when tempers can be frayed anyway. We played Monopoly last weekend for the first time in years and were all left completely under-whelmed. It's bloody tedious and it just goes to show how memories can become distorted by time because I was really looking forward to playing it again, having loved it as a child. I have been hunting an original version of Risk (the latest new version is different with mission cards) and I wonder if it is not as good. If anyone has played both I would like to know if the new version is OK, or something else that has been ruined.

  33. Tony Evans

    Dec 18, 2014, 15:00 #63643

    Bard - I must be going soft in my old age, or just becoming tired of all the in-fighting; but you are right of course I need to shape up and keep fighting the good fight until Wenger is ruining some other poor bugger's Christmas.

  34. A Cornish Gooner

    Dec 18, 2014, 14:58 #63642

    I had 'New Footy' originally, but I think that went the way of Betamax, for example, and everybody, including me, ended up with Subbuteo.

  35. Roy

    Dec 18, 2014, 14:57 #63641

    I'd say he took a massive gamble last Summer and fell on his arse. Doesn't bode well for a poker career, does it ?

  36. Ron

    Dec 18, 2014, 14:50 #63640

    Baddie - those of us with younger Sisters and Brothers would have exploded im guessing with anger playing 'Frustration'? Do you recall it? You pressed the plactic dome in the centre to activate the dice. it was like plastic ludo. The Board often went up in the air in our house i tell you mate. You needed marbles then to replace the lost pieces. How often would you get 3 of the pieces home and safe with one left, parked just outside of the home 4 slots but needing an exact dice number to get him home, then alas, somebody laughing like a hyena (usually my youngest Sister) would come round and land on it sending you back to base!! Whoever named it knew what he/she was doing.

  37. Bard

    Dec 18, 2014, 14:37 #63639

    Tony Evans; you're too kind mate we need to fight them wherever they are. Truce ? you must be joking. I will spend the whole of Christmas sharpening my keyboard. There will be no festivities in my house until he's gone. Call me extreme if you like but unlike the phlegmatic '4th is fine' AKBs Im a true fan.

  38. Tony Evans

    Dec 18, 2014, 14:32 #63638

    Hi Badarse - Wasn't General Jumbo in The Beano - not that it matters. I love anything to do with the 70s: TV, boardgames (I remember some epic games of Risk, lasting for days), Glam Rock, and of course the Arsenal first with Bertie Mee and the Double Side and then the cup specialists under Terry Neil.

  39. Charlie George Orwell

    Dec 18, 2014, 14:27 #63637

    maguiresbridge: that game was 'Striker'. My cousin Kevin used to cheat at that game, too.

  40. maguiresbridge gooner

    Dec 18, 2014, 14:21 #63636

    Badarse, god one is there a part three? Subbuteo was there anyone who didn't have it or play it, I had a version (can't remember if it even was subbuteo) where you pressed the players heads and they kicked, a bit like some of the players we've had over the last couple of years

  41. Badarse

    Dec 18, 2014, 14:14 #63635

    Hi Tony Evans. 'Wembley', had fallen off the shelf at the back of my mind. Enjoyed that. It came in a red lidded box. Do you remember 'General Jumbo', from the 'Dandy'? He was the lad with the remote-controlled panel on his wrist that had soldiers jumping, running and fighting all over the place. I often envisioned a time some way off in the future where you could do that with a small team of footballers-it never happened but perhaps these Playstation games will become holograms in the future and you will be able to play a proper match in the garden on a pitch and scale the individual decides upon. I would purposely send out a team of midgets to run between the legs of Ron's Neanderthal, hairy-arsed cloggers. Oh, no, bet I've woken him up from his nap with that one. Get the percolator on jj, providing it's a good coffee-Italian, perhaps? Oh and I need single cream-virtual will do.

  42. Tony Evans

    Dec 18, 2014, 14:12 #63634

    I wonder if Finsbury Joe is getting too over-excited, what with Christmas and the Spuds actually in a semi-final - even if it is only the Mickey Mouse Cup. He may need his medication if they actually get to Wembley and of course a detailed map of where Wembley is!

  43. jjetplane

    Dec 18, 2014, 13:52 #63633

    Is Lallana finally finding form and combining with the little bloke who is moving to Arsenal after Simon closes the deal. Spuds heading for Wembley - give it to us Joe! Sideways Tiddlywinks anyone? Wenger out/Colonel Mustard in. Stollen, Praetorious and good coffee. Be down in a moment!

  44. maguiresbridge gooner

    Dec 18, 2014, 13:49 #63632

    A few seasons? you make it sound like two surely you mean ten. And it would be no different in poker either he'd still have the same sly smirk and grin he always has, as if he knows something everybody else doesn't like what cards they have and having a better hand than them. That would be his down fall in this game also, too many tells like the grin, the fidgeting, his opponents would see him coming a mile off and take him to the cleaners just like other managers and teams do now. And his lack of tactics he'd be going all in every hand and lose everything and embarrass himself and his sponsors, them he'd jump up waving his arms and pointing all around the table accusing them of cheating and it would be all somebody else's fault.

  45. AMG

    Dec 18, 2014, 13:46 #63631

    You're a funny blighter Mr Badarse! Merry Christmas! Let's hope for an early xmas present on Sunday, 5-1 to the Arsenal. Ron has already predicted a draw or Liverpool win, so we're half way there ;-)

  46. andy1886

    Dec 18, 2014, 13:45 #63630

    "OK, so over the past few seasons he hasn't managed to inspire Arsenal to the league title". Err, nice try there but the truth is it's over a decade now. No other Arsenal manager has gone that long without a title and stayed in post. The only gambles AW takes are on unproven youngsters (not our own obviously, ones he spots elsewhere and buys to try and prove his genius) and with injured players. Based on his success rate in recent years he'd be bankrupt in about 5 minutes.

  47. Tony Evans

    Dec 18, 2014, 13:37 #63629

    Badarse - liked your post. Subbuteo was my game - had the 5 aside version too. I was the undisputed king with my West Germany side (why West Germany and not Arsenal I can't remember, but I must have had my reasons). Escalado must have been before my time but the other football game I enjoyed was 'Wembley' and remember winning the cup for Arsenal on many an occasion. In the spirit of Christmas we should call a truce between the AKBs and WOBs and let hostilities recommence early in the new year. So with that in mind merry Christmas to one and all, even Jamie! I might have to reconsider that of course should we get another thumping from a fairly average Liverpool side come the weekend and I wouldn't put that very far from the realms of possibility.

  48. Badarse

    Dec 18, 2014, 13:25 #63627

    That's so funny Ron. I remember the trials and tribulations of trying to anchor the damned thing with those vice grips. Stuffing cardboard as a washer to prevent marking the table, them slipping off and table getting scratched anyway. Arm aching as handle was turned. Trying to splay the legs to get better stability and occasionally snapping the fetlock, hark at me trying to sound like westlower, ha ha. Bet if he played it he would be dressed in 'silks'.

  49. Ron

    Dec 18, 2014, 13:15 #63626

    Baddie - the blue horse was the one to have in my set mate.Mind you he was a piebald blue as the paint chipped off. Run him on the 1st from the right outside lane. Unbeatable. He got better with two busted front legs too!

  50. Badarse

    Dec 18, 2014, 12:28 #63625

    Thanks gents. Yes Ron, she does suffer, but has always inspired me...hang on, that makes it her fault, mmm, so that's alright then. Funny thing is, I often played Subbuteo with a team full of midgets Charlie, (aka current Arsenal), and many of the horses shortened as all the legs broke. Memories, eh? We are all surrounded by ghosts of Xmas's past. Sheepskin jackets? Reminds me, I must take my Afghan coat for a walk.

  51. Tony Evans

    Dec 18, 2014, 12:26 #63624

    He would be crap because he is a busted flush.

  52. Charlie George Orwell

    Dec 18, 2014, 12:11 #63621

    How dare you, Baddie! I’ll have you know I only ever lost Subbuteo to my know it all, sheepskin jacket wearing cousin.

  53. Ron

    Dec 18, 2014, 11:46 #63620

    Ha ha. Baddie - i venture there's not many on here who will know about 'Escalado'. I had that and damaged the formica kitchen table with the gripscrews at the handle end!!Love the post! Happy Xmas to you and Mrs B too (how that good lady must suffer!!)

  54. Badarse

    Dec 18, 2014, 11:33 #63619

    PART TWO: Ebenezer looked a grim figure. The distillation of all the angst, irritation, anger, frustration and egg yolk of every WOB, showed on his face. At work he moaned at Two Bob Crotchet, the poor musical man, throwing in a few, 'Bah, Bumhugs!' This was a peculiarity to WOBs. They liked hugging bums, but didn't like their bums hugged. This was a conundrum, and first noticed many moons ago, (Howl! Whoops, need to avoid that word). In the circle the WOB group had coalesced into they were all fixated by the bottom in front, but private regarding their own. This resulted in them constantly turning in order to stop the WOB behind ogling their bottom whilst trying to keep the one in front in view. They shuffled around, and the entire group followed suit, whilst trying to look over their own shoulders at another's bottom-it was an amusing sight. Many cricked necks, backs and wallets happened regularly. This ritual passed into folklore and now opens their annual conference with a circular movement around the hall. The old 'grump' went home and at the top of his steps the huge knocker squirted semi-skimmed milk at him-it was quite old, modelled on Sam Fox, and was beginning to droop. At midnight he drifted into a reverie as the Doubles of '98 and '02 replayed in his mind. He gave a hideous smile as he thought that AFC were the only club to win Doubles in different millennia. That 2002 was also the only recorded 'back to front' double, as the cup was won before the title, and a record of scoring in every Prem game. Then his face became twisted and contorted, 'Bah Bumhug! We aren't as good now', he bleated. A blue flash told him this was the ghost of Xmas past. Suddenly another blue flash announced the ghost of Xmas present. He saw the 3-0 become 3-3, the surrender to Anderlecht, and the 3-2 defeat by the Orcs of Stoke. He began spitting, turned purple, and now his head hurt. He straightened his wig, collar and face. He looked very Sour. Then the vision evaporated and with yet one more blue flash he saw a troubling shimmer-the ghost of Xmas yet to be was unfolding before his eyes. It was a misty and vague sight, then he noticed an AFC programme on the floor. He couldn't make out the date, but as clear as anything were the words at the top, 'Championship game between Arsenal and S****horpe'. He bit on his bony knuckles and began to wail. Then he was at the home of the Crotchets, and there hanging against the front room door was little Arsene's puffa jacket, zip still broken. This was a symbolic crutch to Arsene-he needed all the support he could get, but had been rejected by Ebenezer, and had gone. 'Yes, yes, yes, yes, no!' He exclaimed in Vicar of Dibley-style. He wrung his hands but the line was engaged. 'Oh woe is me.' he groaned, (of course he was Ebenezer not woe, in case any are confused), then realised he was over acting like Boris Johnson, and stopped. Then he awoke, realised Helen was not beside him, and was at the coalface, then he fell out of bed. He ran to the window and called to the lad in the street, 'Boy, what day is it?' The lad, looking a lot like a maguiresbridge, stopped munching on his custard sandwich, tucked it carefully into his wellie, and delivered a two-fingered salute. He cursed, 'Wrong window!' rushed to the other and called to the cheeky street urchin the same question. 'Gor blimey Guv'nor, turtle doves and titfer tats, 'tis Xmas Day!' 'Trying to appear streetwise Ebenezer asked the lad to, 'Go take a butchers at the Kosher chicken shop, down the 'frog', and take a huge one to the Crotchet house. Oh and you can forget the basketball!' Ebenezer rushed to the AKB Xmas bash. They were all there and greeted him happily. He morphed into all the usual suspects and they joined the merry throng. The warm fire, the virtual mulled wine, crackers-none to rival Helen though-huge laden table of virtual Xmas fayre, and a promise of games later. The eternal AKB, 'Pass the parcel sideways-and back again', and the peculiar WOB, 'Musical Chairs-I won't be the first to sit down, we should be allowed to stand like what we did at Highbury'. Ron and Badarse were seen canoodling in the corner-ah that belly button fluff is a pull. westlower was playing Escalado with AMG, who wouldn't stop sucking the lead horses. AMG, Unchives, CGO and E/G were playing Subbuteo and it was constantly in danger of boiling over as none of them could defend. radfordkennedy, with a bottle of JD was under the table that Rocky RIP was dancing on. GoonerRon napped in the corner, as Tony Evans mischievously drew a 'Stan' moustache above his lip, and jj was practising on his one-wheel bike in the kitchen, and of course maguirebridge was finishing his custard sarnie. In the Crotchet house little Arsene said, 'Xmas speerit ees with us, godot bless us everyone!' Merry Xmas all!

  55. Ron

    Dec 18, 2014, 10:29 #63617

    Poker has no sustainable model.

  56. AMG

    Dec 18, 2014, 10:16 #63616

    No, I'm sorry, this is nonsense. Wenger has no tactical skill and never did. The only thing he instils in his players is the ability to become injured repeatedly for no apparent reason and for inordinate periods of time. As for astute money management - Too many players who cost too much to start with and are now paid way more than the market rate (for their set of skills) beg to differ. Nice try at pro-Wenger diversion, but badly flawed.

  57. radfordkennedy

    Dec 18, 2014, 9:22 #63612

    Arsene is no stranger to playing stud and going 'all in'right at the point of no return,as is Giroud.

  58. Ivan

    Dec 18, 2014, 9:04 #63611

    Westlower- 'The amount a manager is allowed to gamble with is determined by the board'. Correct, and then the proportion of that money that actually gets spent is determined by the manager. You can lead a horse to water....

  59. Bard

    Dec 18, 2014, 8:52 #63610

    I'd be more than happy if he f***** off and played poker instead of managing Arsenal.

  60. Charlie George Orwell

    Dec 18, 2014, 8:40 #63608

    He would be good at pure Hokm.

  61. Westlower

    Dec 18, 2014, 8:26 #63607

    It's hard to judge if Wenger would make a good poker player? Staking your own money is a different ball game to spending a clubs budget. The amount a manager is allowed to gamble with is determined by the board. A better question may be is Stan a poker player?