Well errr, we are nearing the end of 2014 and, I must say, it has been an exciting year. In some respects, maybe little bit more exciting than it needed to be! But it’s Christmas now, you don’t have to justify every decision.

Look, overall, even if some of the fan belt feels that maybe I lack little bit petrol now, I remain absolutely convinced that my engine is still well oiled. This handbrake is not for turning.

So pour yourself a small small sherry and join me on part one of little bit highlights of my journey through 2014. It wasn’t all bad, we did win little bit silverware*.

-----------------------

JANUARY

Jan 1
I can assure you, we are already working day and night to add super exceptional quality to this squad. Are we close to signing anybody? No.

Jan 4
Did Walcott make a gesture at Tottenham fans? Yes. I believe they asked which mobile phone operator he uses and he gestured 'O2'.

Jan 7
Does Theo's injury force us now to dip little bit into a transfer war chest? I don't know. We are not at war.

Jan 13
Is tonight's game at Villa a must-win? Yes. Of course. But show me a game you must not win.

Jan 16
The Oscar nominations have top quality but, I must say, I was little bit surprised Januzaj was not nominated for 'Sunderland Away'.

Jan 24
The final score tonight was Arsenal undisclosed Coventry City undisclosed. Thank you for your interest in our affairs.

Jan 29
Do we have a delegation in Germany negotiating a transfer? I don't know. I thought Gazidis only popped out to get little bit milk.

Jan 31
Are we in for Kim Kallstrom? I don't know. Although I must say, she showed outstanding quality in Baywatch.

FEBRUARY

Feb 1
Well I must say personally I am delighted that the window is now closed. It was starting to get little bit chilly.

Feb 3
I remain absolutely convinced Kallstrom will be ready by late February, in the middle of March, next April.

Feb 8
The final score from Anfield was Liverpool undisclosed Arsenal undisclosed. Did we lose 5-1? No.

Feb 9
Overall I feel the idea to slip over at Lime Street, to deflect little bit attention from our defeat, looks to have worked quite well.

Feb 11
We are close now to a new contract for Sagna. Manchester City are quite interested and they are only 200 miles away.

Feb 14
Mourinho feels I am a specialist in failure? I don't know. I have not gouged anybody's eyes. If that makes me a failure, I can accept that.

Feb 17
Does Suarez overact little bit? I believe yes. Could he have a future in Hollywood? Why not? He was exceptional in Platoon.

Feb 19
I feel criticism of Özil is little bit harsh. He is just suffering at the moment from little bit cow's-bottom-banjo niggle.

Feb 27
We are preparing well for Stoke. Mertesacker is showing exceptional quality at the line-out and Flamini is little bit natural scrum-half.

MARCH

March 1
Despite the manner of our defeat at Stoke, I feel nobody can question our mental strength. Well, you can, but I don't want you to.

March 5
There is little bit good news on Kallstrom. Leading specialists say if you take two a day, all symptoms should go away.

March 7
I feel the fans' song for Mertesacker is exceptional. I don't share his taste in music, but yes I also believe he is a big funky German.

March 8
We were little bit concerned that the Toffees could be sticky today, but thankfully we were not left as the puddings.

March 9
We respect Wigan but, I must tell you, we are not counting any FA Cup chickens. Largely because we do not have any chickens.

March 11
Bayern in Arsenal out, in out in out shake it all about. Take a touch, fall over and you turn around, that's what it's all about.

March 14
Did Bendtner unbutton his trousers and abuse a taxi driver? I don't know. I don't want to comment on individual training methods.

March 16
Tottenham 0 Arsenal 1 I believe Tottenham have little bit slogan niggle. To dare is to do? No. To dare is to dare. To do is to do. And we did it.

March 17
Has Moyes lost the United dressing room? I've heard nothing about that. Did he ever find it? I've heard nothing about that either.

March 22
Chelsea 6 Arsenal 0 I don't want to comment on the Chelsea referee. But I believe he may have suffered little bit mistaken-identity-demoted-to-the-Championship niggle.

March 24
There is currently little bit rumour niggle. I did not tell the players I was resigning in May. I told them I was re-signing, in May.

March 25
Was the Chelsea defeat an accident? Yes. I believe Chelsea accidentally scored six goals.

APRIL

April 3
Diaby is back. Also ankle, 8 times. Knee 4. Calf 11. Thigh 5. Illness 2. Hamstring 3. Shin 2. Groin, abdomen and concussion.

April 6
Everton 3 Arsenal 0 I don't know what happened today. To lose again heavily is hard to take. I cannot put my finger on mental strength why this is happening.

April 9
Can we win the FA Cup? Yes. I am convinced of that. The semi-final and final are not early kick-offs, so we should be alright.

April 9
Do we have a Plan B? No. I believe if you have a Plan B, it shows that you do not respect Plan A.

April 12
Wigan 1 Arsenal 1 I must tell you, sometimes you must be super patient. We knew that Wigan drop little bit physically in the first half of penalties.

April 13
I must tell you, beating Wigan has no bearing on my future. Although, overall, I believe losing to them wouldn't have done it any good.

April 16
I must tell you, I believe Everton did not expect to lose to Crystal Palace tonight. Nobody expects the Pulis Inquisition.

April 22
I believe Moyes was little bit unlucky at Utd. Apart from lacking maybe quality, tactics, results and points, he did quite well.

April 29
"Afternoon Sherwood....Yes, delighted to finish above Tottenham again, me too!...That coaching role next season? We let you know."

MAY

May 2
Sagna is little bit doubt for the rest of the season. Frankly, I must tell you, Sagna is little bit doubt for the next three seasons.

May 3
We are delighted to win the Fourth Place Trophy. To win it for 18 years takes consistently consistent consistency. Now for the Double.

May 6
Liverpool will be very very low today. They did not see that coming. They usually win on penalties when they draw 3-3.

May 7
Suarez crying was little bit un-com-fort-able. If he had joined this club, he would have an FA Cup Final to look forward to.

May 8
I believe in a World Cup year, transfer business does not get done early. Especially if you leave it till late August.

May 8
We have been top 128 days, which is basically half a season. Should we win half a championship and half a trophy? I believe yes.

May 11
Norwich City 0 Arsenal 2 We congratulate City on winning the championship. If it wasn't for inconsistently inconsistent inconsistency, it might have been us.

May 11
We congratulate Spurs on 6th place. We wish them well in the Europa League. Might it keep them below us for a 20th year? We wish them well.

May 12
I believe Chelsea agreeing to pay £32m for Costa proves the market is inflated. Normally you can get a latte for £2.65.

May 14
We want to do well against Hull, we want to give absolutely everything. Apart from possession, goals and the FA Cup.

May 15
I believe talk of 9 years since our last trophy is little bit disrespectful. It is only 4 years since we last won the Emirates Cup.

May 15
Complacency could risk a giant-killing to threaten all hopes for little bit silverware. Wrexham? Well, it wouldn't do them any good.

May 15
Is it little bit presumptuous that we have a parade prepared for Sunday? No. We have trained for the game on Saturday, is that allowed?

May 17
Petrol, check. Handbrake, check. Brake pads, check. Fan belt, check. Fan belt well lubricated before kick-off, check.

May 17
Arsenal 3 Hull City 2 I'm still little bit magic! I wear a magic hat! And when I saw the FA Cup, I said I'm having that!

May 18
Overall, I believe our surprise plan to drop little bit physically in the first half lacked maybe little bit sharpness.

May 18
Am I still a "specialist in failure"? Specialist, no. Is Mourinho now an 'apprentice in failure'? You have to ask him.

May 18
I must say, the fan belt on today's parade showed outstanding gears, an exceptional engine and maybe little bit naughty language!

May 18
Has this season been a success? I believe yes. It is not easy to win an FA Cup in a World Cup year, but we did it.

May 19
When I said "Judge me in May", did I mean now? Yes, why not? Now seems an exceptionally good time.

May 20
Might Rio Ferdinand be little bit astute signing for this club? Maybe yes. A Ferdinand is worth two in the bush.

May 23
Have we released Bendtner? Yes, we wish him well. We thank him for errr... Well, for all his errr... Anyway, we wish him well.

May 23
Have I made a decision yet on dinner? No. But I am active in the market. If I find a dinner of exceptional quality, I will eat it.

May 23
Have I eaten dinner yet? No. Am I close? Yes. How close? Look, I have been hungry 30 years, I don't have to justify every dinner.

May 24
Did Gareth Bale make the right decision to leave Tottenham for Real Madrid? Overall, I believe yes.

May 26
Are we close to little bit announcement on my contract? Look, I told you, I gave the club my word. Which word? I'm not telling you.

May 28
Well, I must say, we congratulate Pochettino on successfully completing one day as Tottenham manager. Is it a power shift? No.

May 31
Now that we have won little bit silverware, will we open the war chest? Well, we are still not at war. And there is no chest.

JUNE

June 2
Would our fan belt welcome back Fabregas? Overall, I believe yes. He has recovered now from all those little bit handbrake niggles.

June 2
I must say, I admire Borussia Dortmund signing Immobile. I must admit, I have signed a few strikers like that.

June 5
"Roy? Arsène. I don't care if it is little bit 4.28AM in Miami niggle. I want Jack and Alex, sent back, in protective cases, now. Please."

June 5
I had little bit strange dream last night. A man named Jeff wanted me to buy back his fibreglass. I did not exercise that option.

June 9
I must say, I am looking forward now to the World Cup. I believe it could be the best one we have had for a good four years.

June 17
Am I excited the fixtures are announced tomorrow? Yes, but overall, I believe we will get all the other teams, home and away.

June 19
I can tell you, if everybody playing well at this World Cup was on my shopping list, I would need little bit bigger trolley.

June 21
Do England still have top quality? I believe yes. But Gibbs is at home, Wilshere has barely played and the Ox is still injured.

June 25
Should FIFA throw the book at Suarez? I don't know. Is it edible?

June 27
I can assure you, we will be super super top super active in the market. As soon as the transfer window opens, we will do it.

-----------------------

Thank you for your interest in my affairs so far. Will there a part two review of 2014? I don’t want to comment on speculation.

*Little Bit Silverware, the top top book by @wengerknowsbest, is a comedy take on Arsenal’s 2013-14 season as it evolved. It is available to Gooner readers with 10% off the RRP of £9.99, so £9 with free P&P to UK addresses. Orders will need to be placed by calling GBS on 01206 256101, quoting the offer code LBS10.