Dan Godfrey
Ed’s note – current issue of The Gooner, the landmark 250th, is on sale currently and will be available from sellers on your route to the stadium before the Chelsea game. There is an article within entitled “Arsene’s Best and Worst XIs” by Mark Halfpenny. We subsequently received something in a slightly similar vein from Dan Godfrey, so we’re using it on the website to promote the issue…
Good day, Gooners. Firstly a quick update – Abou Diaby is injured. Moving on, I think that in the last couple of years, Arsene Wenger has built a stronger and more settled squad, especially having been able to more brazenly dip into the moneybags almost nine years on from our move to the Emirates. Le Professeur still strives to unearth plenty of gems, of course, and more of these players have been a success than in previous years – Laurent Koscielny’s rapid rise from the French second tier for instance has been first class.
However, like any other Premier League club, players both young and experienced get drafted in by ambitious managers only to serve as inadvertent comedians or simply not quite make the cut at the top level. This ‘forgotten Arsenal XI’ features a mixture of both. Just to note these are just lads from the last decade as I was no more than three months old when Arsene took the reins. 4-3-3 formation by the way, plenty of forgotten firepower here.
Goalkeeper – Mart Poom (2005-07) – A better Mart than Wal-Mart, blonde bombshell Poom never conceded a goal in the Arsenal first team. This surely makes him one of the world’s best? No? Try 120 Estonia caps. They’re world beaters, promise.
Right-back – Kerrea Gilbert (2005-10) – Footballer turned personal trainer Gilbert was ‘the young man who made the difference’ as described by Martin Tyler when he crossed for Thierry Henry’s League Cup semi-final goal against Wigan at Highbury in 2006. Several loan spells later, the difference maker is still one of the last starlets of the Highbury era.
Centre-back – Mikael Silvestre (2008-10) – Some would call the Frenchman a United legend, but we won’t go with that. His performances never replicated the solidity of his Old Trafford career and he was shipped out to Germany at the end of his contract. The bloke scored against Sp*rs, though – so I’d still ask for an autograph if I saw him roaming Islington one afternoon.
Centre-back – Sebastien Squillaci (2010-13) – Continued the curse of the 18 jersey (thank our lucky stars Nacho’s having a good season, touch wood) after the departure of Big Mikael, this charming man once accidentally ended up captaining the side. Also once had enough #SilkySquills to be ‘subbed as a sub’ at Sunderland, he’s probably just about forgotten now. Could likely be nutmegged by 97% of God’s earth.
Left-back – Andre Santos (2011-13) – Spent a tad too long in Piebury Corner before games, it seemed. The decision to stick the samba star in a forgotten XI could be reversible in the fact that most Arsenal fans can’t manage to get him out of their memories. One of the notorious panic buys after ‘that’ eerie day at Old Trafford (keep calm and think Welbeck), the Brazilian knocked in one or two goals on his bursts forward but was he even a left-back? Was he anything? Some say Ozil was apprehensive about taking the number 11 as he has to fill the boots of big Andre.
The ‘DM’ – Kim Kallstrom (2014) – Skipper. He did play for us, honest. Blink and you’ll have missed it. We were crying out for a striker on deadline day in January 2014, but Arsene of course signed the injured Swedish midfielder on loan. The man’s a fine professional of European football and easily the biggest talent in this XI, but he was never really what we needed. It was nice for him, though, and the day he scored his penalty in the Cup semi-final, I came home from Wembley and had a cracking roast with plenty of swede.
Right-midfield – Amaury Bischoff (2008-09) – Primarily a central player, shifting over to the right of a three-man midfield never hurt anyone with this bloke’s class. Someone once asked me whether I liked the look of Bischoff, and I said I prefer garibaldis. The Portuguese played less than half an hour of league football for the club, plus a few sub appearances in cups. He did nothing wrong of note – he was no Andre Squillaci or Sebastien Santos (imagine) – but life in English football never really worked out for him, and it’s a shame he had to bisch off after one season.
Left-midfield – Fran Merida (2007-10) – Due to another certain boy from Barcelona (stop there) who grabbed many a headline as an Arsenal youngster, Merida’s promise as a teenager was enough for any Gooner to enjoy a Sangria or three. Remember that golazo he bagged against Liverpool? If Messi scores that, Twitter goes into Messi meltdown for a brief couple of decades. Now back in his native Spain, Fran was one to smile back at. #MeridaMeltdown
Forward – Vincent van den Berg (2006-09) – Remember him? Me either. Well, I admit I remotely recall him, he made a late cameo in Dennis’ testimonial in 2006, the first ever match at the Emirates. Now if you Google him, Facebook links to eccentric Dutch businessmen pop up. He’s now playing in the third tier in his homeland, with his Arsenal days a distant memory.
Forward – Nacer Barazite (2007-11) – Dutch overload. A compatriot of similar Gunners hero Van den Berg, Barazite was a regular pre-season performer in red and white and was rewarded with a handful of domestic cup appearances. He went on to play for Monaco (shudder) and has now carved out a career back in Holland.
Forward – Arturo Lupoli (2004-07) – The Italian youth international boasted a prolific strike partnership in the reserve setup with Nicklas Bendtner (no, honest) and scored a few goals during his years at The Arsenal. The journeyman completes a three-man strike force of exuberant Arsenal youngsters and is now a steady presence in Serie B.
Who do you think should have made it into ‘Les Forgotten XI?’ I am on Twitter@dangodfrey27, be sure to give your opinions.
If you can’t make the match tomorrow, issue 250 of The Gooner can also be bought online here.
