Kev Carty
And so it came to pass that just 7 days before the Europa League Getoutofjailcard game the King has signalled His abdication. Nearly everyone in the Kingdom agrees it is right. Some subjects, myself included, are fairly recent converts. Even the great keeper known as “Earholes”, a loyal supporter of the King, has stated he should have gone after the Chelsea cup final win.
His Majesty will get a wonderful send-off. Even the bitterest of dissidents will surely bite their collective tongue and show true reverence to our greatest ever King whilst quietly thinking AT LAST!
Thoughts now turn to His successor and I pity the poor sod who gets the gig. Let us examine the demise of some other empires. Mancunia 1 saw the Great Knight depart and more or less put his replacement in post. The followers barely gave Moyes a chance and demanded a famous name. King Louie duly arrived with outstanding credentials but he “didn’t play the Mancunia 1 way” and was replaced by the evil and bitter serial empire builder known as “that @+$= Mourinho, who the Mancs don’t really like.
Redscousia never had a King for as long as Mancunia 1 or Arseland but they had a dynasty known as the bootroom, which meant a peculiar form of nepotism ensured phenomenal success. When the last of that dynasty departed, the man known as King Kenny The Incomprehensible, various leaders were summoned but none, save the maverick Rafa the Gaffer, really satisfied the demanding Scousefolk and King Kenny was even dragged out of retirement at one stage to steady the ship and get the Scousefolk to calm down.
Meanwhile Mancunia 2, aka CITEUH!, was amassing an unheard-of array of readies and went through a succession of managers until they appointed the one true Messiah who inspired his team with a heady mix of overt latin gesticulation and pep talks. And what of the other members of the perceived TOP6? Chelski employed more managers than Barnet (factually true if you count Mad Dog as 1), and the North London Wannabies …. Well anyway they are still trying.
So to the succession. And this is where many rabid anti-Wengerites might struggle to find peace and ultimately may come to know the true meaning of “Better the devil you know”. For it seems to me they yearn for a similar King to Arse only one with more success. Many weren’t born in the days of Emperor Strollerbrownpaperbag and will not comprehend the ironic chanting, after his demise and in the early days of Arse, of “Boring Boring Arsenal”.
So… Simeone? Benitez? Too boring. Howe? Dyche? Too English. Rodgers (btw my own choice) too, er, much of a failure. Vieira / Henry? Arteta? Too inexperienced. Denis? Just been sacked by Marc Overmars. Marc Overmars? Yeah right. Low? Hmm… intriguing given the impact Klopp has had.
And then there is the continuation of the reign of the Superstar Kroenke. Maybe we could have had Guardiola a couple of years ago if Arse had decided to fall on His sword or fall under a northern line train but the last few seasons would have been a constant battle between Pep and Kroenke over funding as whatever anyone says about PG making players better he has ALWAYS bought success.
As the Warner Brothers cartoons always said, That’s all folks. I am an atheist but for a few weeks I’ll be praying our new politburo makes the right decision. In the meantime, give the Legend a fitting adieu. He was a genius and deserves to be remembered as such.
