After an 'interesting' debate with my Millwall supporting brother-in-law, when he accused The Arse of being responsible for the demise of En-Ger-Land because of our lack of English players etc etc, I told him that if Arsene Wenger wants to field a team of bald one-legged Albanian midgets I couldn't care less.

Now this set me off on a train of thought regarding English players, I racked my brains and tried to think of an intelligent one that had no links to Arsenal and the closest I could get was Gareth Southgate (now an ex-player)!! The real reason Arsene doesn't buy English is pretty obvious... the players are DUMB.

Just look at the Premiership, the overpaid f*ckwits on show and the nice little escapades that they get up to off the pitch (ahem, Cashley). Having your brains in your feet is like winning the lottery and then being able to afford a nice house/car etc but that doesn't make you smarter or cleverer than the average man in the street.

When you listen to an Arsenal player being interviewed it will be probably be one of those polite Johnny Foreigners speaking better English than the English and coming out with intelligent comments (not a 'basically' or an 'at the end of the day' in sight). Then listen to the English players splutter and spout clichéd drivel whilst trying to sound intelligent (ramblings of retarded baboons spring to mind).

So the next time an English player is snapped up by Spudz, MoanUre or the Chavs for £20+ million and Arsene has quietly done his homework and brings in an unknown for a fraction of this you can be sure that the first thing he did was count the brain cells. And the next time you open a tabloid to find the latest lurid story involving our wonderful imploding English boys just be grateful that Arsene Knows!!