So who are you sat next to at the new ground? There were thousands of people at Dennis’s testimonial last weekend turning to shake hands with the person next to them, who they could be sat next to every other week for the next 20 years. Who’s got the choice seat of sitting next to Maria of “Come on your Gunners” fame? And who’s sat in front of the fat smelly racist thug who moans a lot about Wenger and Henry, cos thankfully he ain’t behind me anymore?! Why not write in and let us know – we intend to make this a regular feature of The Gooner during the coming season, but are more than happy to protect your identity upon request!

Me? I’ve migrated from the East Lower to the West Lower along with a group of friends, one of whom insisted on asking the man who helped us at the reservation centre back in December if he could tell us which side of the dug-outs the subs would use for their limbering up exercises! I nearly chose to sit somewhere else at that point!

On arrival at the ground, I dutifully turned and said hello to the two guys behind me, although I will need to ask them their names again at the next game because I’d forgotten by the time kick-off arrived. In the row in front, a group of three blokes and two girls arrived and said hello. They seemed pleasant enough and one was keen to share his views on Ashley Cole with anyone who would listen – made sense as well. However, after nipping out for a half-time cuppa, the two ladies didn’t return and with a full 20 minutes still to go, one of the guys shuffled off as well. When we barracked him with the traditional “Sit Dahn!” he explained that it was “Saturday night fellas and a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.” He queried whether we wanted any jpegs of the action which makes me wonder whether he’s moved into the same employment as another of my new neighbours who is a regular on those late-night pay-per-view channels, but more of that next time!

It’s to be hoped that this isn’t a regular occurrence, especially as (surprisingly) our first five Premiership games are all scheduled to take place on a Saturday!

(Ed’s Note – Please feel free to send in your own new neighbour pieces. Try and make them between 300 and 450 words. Some will be used in the printed issue of the Gooner)