Scenes of sheer ecstasy erupted in the early hours of this morning when the result so many had been waiting for was officially announced. Exhausted spectators, their eyes reddened with lack of sleep, watched as the momentous occasion unfurled before them as they huddled around their TV sets. One delighted onlooker I spoke to said, ‘We were waiting nervously all night, and we prayed and prayed for this outcome.’

A woman with tears of happiness flowing down her face told me, ‘It was truly an ordeal. The road was long and hard, but although at times we looked downtrodden and beaten, we knew deep down that our time would come.’

When the result was released, revellers poured out into the pre-dawn streets in a spontaneous display of mass jubilation, pride and - to many - relief.

‘Some don’t realise what this means to the likes of us’, said one reveller. ‘This is the only source of hope and pride we have.’

His friend agreed. ‘Most of us do not work and are reliant on government assistance. What happened tonight makes us feel like people.’

The man at the centre of the jubilation spoke to the worlds press in a mixture of tiredness and elation. ‘I’m overjoyed - there were times when I doubted we could pull it off and I prepared myself for the worst’, admitted a bleary eyed Barack Orafa. ‘But when the referee pointed to the spot after playing four hours of injury time, I was over the moon that Liverpool was able to continue its historic tradition of getting late dodgy pens to avoid defeat.’

Late Late News Extra

Swiss authorities are examining a bizarre meteorological phenomenon after thousands of high denomination Russian rouble banknotes apparently fell upon the streets of Nyon, its epicentre being the headquarters of UEFA. It is estimated that a large number of these notes were ‘collected’ by people in the area before the police arrived.

In an unconnected matter, the red card shown to Deco, Chelsea’s influential midfield player, has been overturned after a successful appeal by the club. The Blues’ captain, John Terry, said ‘Obviously we’re happy about that, but personally I’m still on a bit of a downer. But rest assured, in future games I’ll catch the ball more often and drop it down to my feet so I can score. Please excuse me, that’s all, I have to go now and represent England at a FIFA Fair Play event.’