If only I'd known about Big Nick's night-out, I could've saved him from the dreaded paparazzi. Poor lad.

I'm always in Boujis with Prince Harry, Debbie Harry and a few other flash Harrys - I earn so much dosh I can't think what else to spend my money on. I could've lent Nickyboy my belt. And my strides. And my designer Y-fronts. If only I'd known.

I'm really pleased that our players set such high standards and that they care so much for our Club. And it's nice to see that Nickyboy can make just as much of an arse of himself off the pitch as he does on it. I'm going to write to Messrs Fizsman / Hill-Wood and ask if I can pay more for my ticket next season as poor old Nicklas and his mates obviously don't get paid enough.

Can't people see that so many of our current squad are laughing at us????

How many people reading this went to Boujis after the match? I got home at nearly midnight on Tuesday after walking miles, suffering three train journeys and lashing out more than £100 to watch a complete pile of sh*te and - by way of a bonus - to sit behind 3,000 Mancs singing "Oh this is so f***ing easy".

And before some old scrote says "you don't remember the drinking exploits of Adams, Parlour and Merson" or "you don't remember McGoldrick and Helder or Hawley and Hankin" - I remember all of that and watched / cheered those lads home and away. The difference is that Adams and co were paid sensibly: ran through brick walls for Arsenal: won trophies for Arsenal and still come back now to talk to fans at dinners and Club functions. Does anyone think that Bendtner and co will be coming back to fans' dinners in 20 years time, showing us his huge collection of medals?

And when McGoldrick and co. were playing it didn't cost me £100 per match to watch them. So many young(ish) players revere the money that football allows them and they seem to put the lifestyle above everything else.

Bendtner is a professional sportsman, being paid millions to play for one of the top clubs in the world. I'd have so much more respect for him if he'd gone home, got up early and got out on the training ground in preparation for Chelsea five days later - the team that we can still pip for 3rd place.

Anyway, listen to me - boring old fart.

I'm off to Boujis now. Prince Harry is chucking a party for a few close chums and I'm gonna buy him a Martini or two. Or three. I was gonna go commando tonight but those paparazzi do like to catch filthy rich p*ssheads like me with our pants down. Don't want the world and his wife seeing my Hampton do we now??