The next issue of The Gooner fanzine will include an article about blue away shirts.

An Irish sub-standard sports channel, should they remain solvent, will employ commentators and pundits who will continue to make far less sense than even your average politician. Half time punditry will also sink to almost impossible to achieve lows on this channel. (Ed’s note – these offerings were submitted in one go over a month ago, although our mystic couldn’t predict that a certain sports chanel would indeed go under!)

El Hadj Djouf will be sent off. He will turn to the ref and impersonate a goldfish.

Berbatov will be moving so slowly in one of United's matches that he will actually start going backwards in the slow-motion inaction replay.

Jamie Redknapp, pundit, son of a twitcher man, arsewipe and ex-Scum clown will talk out of his posterior and wind fans up all season long. He will also at some point cream himself about the Pool and the Chavs’ immaculate play.

Club Class (or the Bagel Circle as some know it) at the E******s Stadium will remain empty for ten minutes after each and every half time. This may even become mandatory for ticket holders.

Stevie Bould will be head-hunted by numerous clubs.

Benitez will rotate his squad to the amazement of the media and he will also wind up a blue-nosed Jock. Probably just prior to a Scouser losing run.

A Frenchman who manages our Club will say 'I was pleased with our commitment'. The Arsenal messageboards will differ in this respect.

Howard Webb will make a truly awful decision in a major game.