I have lost the faith. I now no longer believe that Arsenal can win the league this season. Sunday has sent me into a pit of despair so large that I struggle to think of what possible, rational course of action there is left to take...

Oh! I know! Let’s sack the manager, the board, sell all of our players and burn the stadium down in protest at the single greatest injustice Western civilization has ever seen!

Jesus wept! What is this? The annual Geordies’ and Scousers’ whinge at why they deserve to win everything because they’re so special? Frankly, I’m disgusted at commentators such as Christian Alibert (Taxi For Wenger).

So, Arsène’s unfit to live and should be sent to Siberia by close of business tomorrow? Damn right he should – and while we’re at it, let’s get Rafa Benitez in to sort out this mess we’re in. After all, he knows how to spunk money up the walls, which is clearly the answer to all of our problems. £20m is a bargain for a player of Aquilani’s standard. For that matter, what about ‘arry? Alright, he’s got a murky past when it comes to wheeling and dealing, but at least he knows his way around a bunch of used fivers, no questions asked. Oh, and Roberto Mancini! Who can forget his master-stroke at signing Paddy V to a £150,000/week contract when he’s over the hill and injured? Quality stuff. Wenger’s put to shame by purchases such as Vermaelen and Arshavin; they’re simply awful and not fit to wear the shirt – done nothing all season, the pair of them.

The League Cup: that Holy Grail of footballing excellence before which we all prostrate ourselves because we are not worthy. You know, it’s never done anything for the club. Not a jot. In fact, one of the worst matches I ever saw was in the League Cup – Arsenal vs. Rotherham. Not one of those players ever did anything with himself after that. Definitely not that scraggly little lispy Spanish tosser whose name I forget... something like ‘Fabregash’ – anyway, it doesn’t matter ‘cause we haven’t heard of him since, the poxy no-hoper.

And how dare Wenger run the club on a sound financial keel? What does he know? Personally, I’d love to be hundreds of millions in debt with no way of paying it back, just like Utd and the Hoof are. Did you know that Utd may have to sell Old Trafford just to stay afloat? No? Well, it’s a small matter anyway. Let’s just forget small details like that and pray for the day that our saviour, Usmanov the ex-prison bird, comes in to be our sugar-daddy, just like Chelski and City have! God, I truly cannot wait for the day when we are more like Chelsea in every way – including having f**k all future if a certain Russian decides to pull the plug.

As to the players, this is a criticism to respond to seriously. Wenger has always had one major blind spot: goalkeepers. We all know Manuel is not good enough. Full stop. As for the others, well, who can ignore Song’s progress to being one of the best midfielders around? A year or two ago however, I suspect that many of the current critics were calling for him to be shipped out. Denilson has showed some class at times, but in recent matches has fallen off the pace. Why this is we do not know – but perhaps there is behind-the-scenes stuff going on with him. Let us wait and see. Clichy? Well, we’ve got a great replacement for him, but he’s in with the physio for the rest of the season. This is clearly Wenger’s fault! As to not having bought ‘a world-class striker’, well, we do have one; RVP. Sad thing is that he’s been out for virtually the entire season with torn ligaments – but, of course, that’s Wenger’s fault. But we should have bought a £30m striker in January – they’re easy enough to find as a short-term solution. Did anyone else notice the dearth of major signings? Perhaps the old guy is onto something when he says that there’s not much money around at the moment...

Ah, the Cup. I love it. As an Englishman, I am attached to it at the hip. If it were up to me, we’d go for it all guns blazing every season. But it’s not up to me: it’s up to one of the most proven managers in the world who has the club’s best interests at heart. Our club’s best interests at heart. He has turned this club from a good English side into a European powerhouse. So he might have slipped up? He’s human then. Lest we forget, we were 1-1 with 15 mins to go. Had that all turned out ok, no-one would have said a thing.

To all those calling for a taxi for Wenger, shut up, f**k off, and go and support United – after all, they beat us at the weekend, so that means you’ve a better band-wagon to jump onto now.

In Arsène I trust, and I hope you do too.