So Didier Drogba "doesn't do much"? Of course he doesn't, he doesn't need to! All he has to do is stand in the same place for a few minutes, and all the Arsenal defence will wander off and leave him on his own. Has he got a personal hygiene problem? Has he got a particularly tiresome line in chat? Who knows?

Our Aborigine international left back, Willie Walkabout, certainly avoided him like the plague. For their first goal, it was an interesting tactical move to completely vacate the far post, which I assume was his responsibility. Drogba didn't mind being left on his own in the least bit. He could put the ball in the net at his leisure and roll a fag at the same time. How civilised. He could then spend the rest of the game deciding how to spend his win bonus, and yet keep his wife out of the clutches of 'Skip'.

Of course Arsenal had all the possession. Do you honestly think Chelsea gave a f**k? They knew Arsenal wouldn't score in a million years. They also knew that to get round this problem, Arsenal would just send more and more of their players forward. Meanwhile, Drogba was having a crafty smoke and a chat with the linesman on the right wing. Teams have worked out that this is a good part of the pitch to stand if you don't feel like being bothered by an Arsenal defender. But wait a minute, isn't Drogba their star turn? The bloke who wins games for them? Wouldn't it be just a vaguely sensible idea to mark him? Nah! Boring! Soooo George Graham!

Where was Mr Walkabout? Well he was busy adopting the Denilson position. For those not familiar, this is like being in midfield, but yet somehow completely out of the game. Belatedly realising the error of his ways, he had a little go at getting back to something approaching his designated position, but even got in a tangle with that. Meanwhile, the Drog put out his smoke, stepped inside as if nobody was there and slammed the ball in the net. It would have been silly not to. Churlish even.

So there you have it. Game set and match. Another season over.

I wonder if the Chelsea players bothered having a shower afterwards? No sweat, so maybe not. Best get back quick and check where the missus is.