I write this after a good nights sleep following yet another all too predictable defeat against one of our rivals. Rivals? Interesting word that – considering we are not actually challenging anyone domestically for anything! Anyway, I need to vent my frustration.

I have been following The Arsenal for as long as I can remember and have been fortunate enough to hold a season ticket for the last 14 years. I am married and have a two year old and a thirteen-week old. Even though I have a busy life, especially with the kids, I attend all the home games, a couple of away ones and watch every game that is live on TV. To put this in perspective I currently live in the Midlands and am forever explaining to my wife that it really does take me 7-8 hours to watch 90 minutes of football at THOF. She is very understanding.

During the build up to yesterday I was banging on about it ‘being a big game’ and ‘we can’t afford to lose’ and ‘I’ll take a draw and win against the scousers’. Apparently I was ‘stressing’ so my wife decided to take herself and the kids out rather than listen to me shout at the TV! An understandable decision as it turned out.

So there I am, quietly confident that we cannot possibly play as bad as last week, which to be fair we didn’t. The scene is set, the boys are up for it and then the first set piece. The FIRST SET PIECE! Do we never learn? Gael Clichy is on the far post and for some reason runs to stand next to Sagna on the near post – why? I’m not saying he would have kept Dogba’s tap in out but he may have inadvertently got in the way! Same old! Same old!

Our response was excellent. Played good football, loads of possession – a good chance fell to Arshavin... great save. Then a counter attack, Clichy and Vermaelen pulled all over the place, Dogba beats both of them and the Spanish waiter does a great impression of a statue and it’s game over! Am I the only one who thought that somehow the ball would have hit Shay Given or any other half decent keeper? Also, was this not a carbon copy of the Manure goal last week? Same old! Same old!

Half time comes and I’m off to calm down and have a cuppa. On returning I came over all doom and gloom. I really could see no way back. Texts from my Arsenal supporting mates were not helping and certain texts from two Chavski season ticket holders were pushing me over the edge! I considered turning the TV off. I considered going to find my wife and kids. I considered screaming. I settled on putting Fifa 2010 on the xbox and keeping the football on in the background. Now let’s read that sentence again. I PLAYED FIFA 2010 ON THE XBOX RATHER THAN WATCH THE ARSENAL. This surely must tell you everything about the team today. Pretty football, no endgame.

How have we entered the business end of the season without a fit recognised striker? The difference yesterday was that Chavski took their chances and were clinical. ‘Efficient’, I think Wenger called it. Why can’t we be efficient? Why did we not buy or loan in the transfer window? Wenger states that it takes a while for players returning from injury to find top form, which I agree with, but how can he expect us to compete without a striker? I know we have scored a lot of goals but most of these came when RVP was fit and playing. I have not done the maths but I bet statistically the percentage is higher for goals scored before he was injured.

The team is improving year on year but how long do we/can we wait for it to reach full potential? I know we have had a real bad run of injuries but it is the manager’s job to strengthen the team and provide decent cover. Irrespective of whether you rate Barry Bender or not, he is not match fit! Even Liverpool without Torres have Ngog – a recognised striker. Name me another team who play without a striker.

The worst thing you can give a man is hope. I had hoped that this was our year. I had hoped that the team had matured. I had hoped that when we hauled 11 points back we would kick on. I had hoped that we could compete at the highest level. I was wrong.

I am not ashamed about turning my back on Arsenal yesterday. It felt weird and is probably something I will not do again. I did it to keep my sanity. I did it to be in an acceptable mood when my family returned from their jaunt. I did it because I had lost hope.

Well, I feel a bit better now for my rant. Champions League it is. I have already booked annual leave for May!

Keep the Faith.