Gooners are a strange breed, we do not call our ground the E******s, it has to be Ashburton or The Grove, we do not call them Sp*rs, we call them the Spuds or Totteringham and we are rightly upset that the sleeves on this season's outfit are not the traditional white - yet thousands of you don't mind walking around dressed like "Dwight Hart Lane"

It is an anathema to me that so many Gooner fans are now wearing the Sp*rs traditional strip. Ok so there are a few stripes in it, but to me it is still a Sp*rs strip.

I hate it and I cannot believe there are fans out there who want to be seen in that awful outfit. The editor of The Gooner also tells me this strip is outselling all other Arsenal outfits - have we collectively all gone mad? (Ed’s note – point of fact. This season’s blue away kit has sold many more than last season’s yellow one, but it has to be accepted that the club’s use of colours other than yellow for the change strip has resulted in healthier sales) Fans of my age remember when the Sp*ds were a good team and like Doctor Who (who can sniff out a Dalek light years away) I too have the power to sense a Sp*ds revival and after the week we have just had I tell you it is coming - and it is the fault of every Gooner who wears that bloody strip!

I actually thought at the Lane last week, we were going to wear the blue & white strip and the Sp*ds would come out wearing our red & white outfit!

However the trend is reversible. All you need to do is to throw out your white shirt with your weekly rubbish, or maybe the Arsenal board could set up recycling bins and place them around the ground in time for the Citeh game so we can turn these useless items of clothing into worthwhile cotton products.

Trust me, then you will see the Spuds fade from the top four and we will win our last three games, keeping a clean sheet in every match.

Then in the close season Arsene will buy a goalkeeper, a world class centre half and David Villa - pigs will fly and the UK will win the Eurovision song contest!