So who will be this season's most berated Arsenal player? Who will top the Annual Arsenal Slagathon? Not only can you predict the name of the unfortunate individual but you can also join in the slagging to your heart's content, maybe even jump the queue. What follows are the betting odds and a brief form guide on each of the following useless no-hopers for the unofficial Gooner whipping boy of the season. Come on, let’s be hearing you, it just wouldn't be a proper season if someone wasn't being slagged off mercilessly throughout would it? So slag away Dudes! Your selected slagee could come from any of the following:

4-6 on in the betting is Lukasz Fabianski - The universe's most useless goalie, the worst Coco impersonating Pole dancer in the history of European keeping and by far our Club's worst keeper since 'Fingers Furnell'. Nailed on favourite whom many would prefer nailed to either a cross or a cross-bar.

At evens in the betting is Manuel Almunia - The world's most useless goalie, trainee clown and Spanish waiter in waiting for a transfer. Absolutely nobody's English number one. A great each-way bet because the ball goes each way and whichever way that is he'll be going the other.

At 5-4 against is Denilson - The only Brazilian in the entire history of Brazilian football who doesn't play like Pele.

7-2 against Carlos Vela - The world's most overrated, over-paid Mexican ball-juggling wimp whose only saving grace is teeth even shinier than Silvestre's head.

7-2 against Johan Djourou - The world's most injury prone central defender, the absolute epitome of a broken Swiss cuckoo clock. Sightings of Djourou in action are even rarer than TV interviews of 'Arry Redknapp keeping a straight face and stiff upper lip.

3-1 Cesc Fabregas - The world's most want away player, who clearly only stayed with us for another ten minutes because he's yet another Wenger slave who has been manacled to his contract. Could this season be your very last chance to slag him into oblivion?

4-1 Bendtner - The world's most big-headed Dane, always out injured with a groin strain due to his perpetual shagging of multi-billionaire bints and his penchant for writing off poncy motors. The only player in our squad with three left feet who specialises in missing sitters and banging his head on low bridges.

5-1 Abou Diaby going out in the betting - Our sub-standard Vieira look-a-like and headless French poulet, taller than Mont Blanc and yet he only heads own goals.

Robin van Persie coming down in the betting to 6-1 - The world's second most injury prone Dutchman who has never ever played more than twenty minutes in any single season for Arsenal since he joined us. The very same man who purchased a second-hand set of glass ankles from Franny Jeffers and still plays with a chocolate leg

6-1 Bacary Sagna - Who not only failed miserably for France in South Africa but has never crossed a decent ball in his entire life. If that wasn't bad enough he also sports hair even more stupid than Alan Sunderland at his all-time permiest.

8-1 Thomas Vermaelen - Who is so absolutely one footed you'd think he was a Belgian, and what do they know about football?

9-1 Samir Nasri - Yet another crocked Frenchman who plays tippy-tappy never-shoot football. Yet another sub-standard Hleb except that he's not gone off to Barca or Brum as yet.

9-1 Alex Song - Thank god we've only got one.

10-1 Andrey Arshavin - The chubby midget whose pathetic work-rate makes Berbatov look like a workaholic speed merchant on acid. The only Russian ever to wear gloves in the winter, spring and autumn.

One of the pre-season favourites Theo Walcott has stretched his odds out to 10-1 - He has no football brain, can't cross, won't track back and will never be a centre forward, winger, or for that matter a goal-keeper. The chances of him ever repeating his hat-tricks for England and Arsenal are about nil. A nice enough kid but he's really not thick enough to be a real footballer or converse with such heady intellectuals as John Terry or Cashley.

Odds on favourite a year or so back Emmanuel Eboue has moved out in the betting to 12-1 - The man who trips over non-existent shadows. He may well be Africa's fastest headless chicken and can't defend to save his life and yet the idiot speaks fluent Korean. See we told you he has talent, albeit a useless one.

Gael Clichy 12-1 - Even better at disappearing than one of George Graham's brown envelopes. Even worse at crossing than Sagna and obviously requiring a step ladder to head away any ball that is move than three foot off the ground.

Tomas Rosicky 15-1 - Usually the forgotten man in the betting because of his continual no-shows at the starting post. This season however he's in with a shout, watch out for all those shots blasted into row Z.

Laurent Koscielny at a rather generous 15-1 - At only four foot two and eight stone he has to be our weakest defensive link since we moved from Dial Square.