(Ed’s note – This was submitted before the first match of the season at Liverpool, but it’s such an opus in length and needed a fair bit of tidying, that I haven’t had the time to post it until now…)

I write this article at a time when I have attended 7 Arsenal games in 4 seasons, so for many in my boat of circumstances I take my dose of 'Gooner' via every media outlet I can grab my hands on. Sadly prices, travel time from Milton Keynes and the rise of the football tourist have meant I’ve seen far less live than I would have liked, so here is my armchair fan’s player by player guide ahead of the new season:

GK:
Manuel Almunia - A decent shot stopper at times, but a number 2 at best. I can name at least ten better goalkeepers in the premiership (Brian Jensen of Burnley anyone?), which tells its own story.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: 3rd Choice

Lukasz Fabianski - Is 25 young for a goalkeeper these days? I don't think so. Been given his chance, and has failed on numerous occasions. I don't even remember David Calamity James being this bad at this age. Needs to cut his losses now while there’s still some resale value left.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: Bartender

Vito Mannone - Impressed at Fulham away last year, cruelly dropped when the two clowns came back from injury. Would like to see more of him, not in an Arsenal jersey this season. Perhaps being a number 1 at championship team this year on loan would aid his development.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: Reserve team GK

Wojciech Szczesny - This lad’s impressed many, me included. The first thing that gets you with him is his height. Watched him last season @ Brentford v MK Dons, had a shocker that day conceding 3 goals but still performed some outstanding saves to keep Brentford in it. Would like him to be understudy to an already proven GK
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: Reserve Team GK

Defenders:
Bacary Sagna - Had an awful campaign last time out, in my opinion still feeling the effects of his brother’s death. First season without French teammate Gallas beside him, but quality still persists. Still needs to work on the attacking side of his game, the 4-3-3 doesn't exploit the pace of our two fullbacks as much as Chelsea and Man Utd use theirs.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: 1st choice RB/2nd choice behind Ivanovic

Thomas Vermaelen - Don't know how TV didn't get Player of the Season. The CB we've been looking for since Tony Adams retired, sadly it only took Arsene 7 years. More of the same please.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: 1st choice CB partner

Laurent Koscielny - Little is known about the Frenchman except he lacks in experience and upper body strength (not a good start for a CB). Watched him at Barnet and was good with the ball at his feet. Really struggling to see how a man of his size and experience can cope with likes of John Carew and Carlton Cole, let alone Drogba and Rooney. Arsene knows apparently, so I’ll give him a chance first.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: Unknown

Johan Djourou - Sadly I think for poor Djourou, his destiny is to spend most of his footballing career in the physio’s room. I do hope I’m wrong, but at the same time I’ve never felt myself saying: 'God this player’s a bit special.' Another one of Arsene's nearly rans, to go down the same path as Senderos, Hoyte, Volz and Sidwell. In the last chance Arsenal Saloon bar.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: 5/6th choice at best

Gael Clichy - Disappointing season again last year, could be the already highlighted tactical change which make our FB's less effective. Hasn't shown the development into a world class left back we once hoped for, and at 25 years old some would consider him one of the elder statesmen of the team, yet at times avoids taking defensive responsibility. Could have been given a very interesting run for his money if Gibbs hadn't been injured. And it is that fact alone that has probably kept him at Arsenal this season. With an extended run in the team for Gibbs, this season could see Clichy being cashed in for relative big money, £7.5 - £10 mill to your transfer kitty Arsene? Needs to make that step from good player to class player, much in the way Evra (spit) did with Utd.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: 2nd choice left back

Kieran Gibbs - I do have to admit Gibbs is a personal favourite of mine, made a step up last season in terms of performance and pecking order ahead of Traore. Has all the necessary attributes to be a very, very good left back indeed, such is shown by his inclusion by Mr Capello in the senior England team. Has a surprising level head and good battling spirit for an English player of his age. Hope money, pressure and the England squad don't get into him. I think he could be better than a certain Cashley Cole at left back.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: 2nd choice left back

Armand Traore - The only reason I see Traore still at the club is in the event that Clichy gets sold. Otherwise what is his use to the squad, granted his attacking play was a lot better last year, but defending there is still some work to do. Wouldn't be surprised if he was loaned out or sold before August 31st. (Ed’s note, as subsequently proved the case with the player joining Juventus for a year)
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: 2nd/3rd choice left back

Midfielders:
Abou Diaby - Either has happy feet or is the flukiest footballer in the history of the game. Can destroy an entire defence with brilliance and skill. But it’s more often than not his lack of concentration and a lack of a footballing brain that infuriates us Gooners more. He jointly holds top spot in the AFC charts of not a tracking player back from position. His half arsed jogging also infuriates me. But I’m sure some of you will agree that it is all these bad attributes on a day of Diaby brilliance that are the real bug bear with him. Has to step up this year.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: 4/5th choice

Cesc Fàbregas - One of only three world class players in the team, Cesc has had his knockers this summer over the potential move to Barca. Shouldn't be stripped of the captaincy in my eyes for two reasons; 1) it will drive further towards the arms of Barca, 2) His single handed displays towards the end of season kept us in a title race we had no right to be near. With Cesc carrying the team most of the time you can see why he may out. Unfortunately I do believe that this year is his swansong with Arsenal.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: 1st choice

Tomas Rosicky - The Czech wizard has not been so magical since returning from long term injury, some will argue 'was he so magical before?' I'd say technically the most comfortable on the ball in the whole squad; hopefully a full pre-season will do him good. Unfortunately the same position and squad number as his predecessor has left many fans disappointed in his comparison. Goal tally needs a large boost, and could certainly do with watching a few videos of an ex no.7. One more year to impress before one year contracts kick in.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: 2nd choice wing

Samir Nasri - Impressive over pre-season and seems to have made the improvement that should have taken place last summer, if it weren’t for Diaby breaking his leg. Again good technically, does like a bit of the rough stuff as well. The only negative I can say about Nasri is we don't yet know his best position or where he will play this season. Could well be the 'Cesc in waiting'.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: 1st team depending on starting position, could quite easily slot onto the Utd wing

Theo Walcott - This lad’s a striker isn't he? Pace and eye for goal. Doesn’t, as a pure footballer, make the grade to be an Arsenal player as passing and intelligence on the field are not good enough. Let’s stop trying to make him Thierry Henry and let’s make him Michael Owen of the late 90's early 00's. Really can't see an extended future at the club if kept on the wing, cashing in on potential reputation could be the best way get some return.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: On the bench as an impact sub

Denilson - He is the one player I wanted sold this summer, I see him as a hindrance to the team more than a help. I enjoy watching Arsenal far more when he isn't playing. Square and backwards balls seem to be his speciality. Doesn't run, doesn't mark, doesn't track back and shirks a tackle. If anybody can tell me what good he does please enlighten me. For a player to play as many games for us at the level he has shows wonders in how he's gone from Brazil U20's captain to not ever being called up for the national side. Sell him now please, unlike Eboue and Song, who I had patience with, but I’ve seen enough.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: Bus driver

Aaron Ramsey - How much we get of the Ram this year is anyone’s guess at the moment. Last year improved almost game by game. Hope his injury hasn't set him back. Best wishes still go to Aaron on a speedy recovery.
Position in squad if at Man Utd/Chelsea: Understudy to Scholes/Lampard