Every now and again Fat Sam Allardyce opens his loud mouth and proves himself as inept and misguided an orator as he is a football manager.

Once again he has had his annual snipe at Monsieur Wenger. Or I should say Mr Wenger in case our intellectually challenged fat friend reads this and doesn’t understand.

He accuses Mr Wenger of trying to influence referees prior to matches. His point is that Mr Wenger, feeling that his players are treated unfairly in some matches and that some teams, guided by certain managers, will set out to stop Arsenal by kicking them off the pitch, influences upcoming matches through his gentle reminders. I suppose broken limbs to three of his players in recent years (Diaby, Eduardo, Ramsey) maybe has made Wenger rightly or wrongly believe that his team do deserve greater protection in these matches.

The fact of the matter is Wenger does have evidence far beyond the above three examples for his point. Another fact is that Fat Sam is not fit to question such a superior and great manager who has already achieved more in the game than he ever will ever.

Jealousy is an interesting thing. At every opportunity Allardyce, with the enthusiasm of a Catholic Priest at a boy scouts jamboree, extols the greatness of his blood brother Ferguson. The great British, North England bond repeatedly demonstrated as the little Northern clique pat themselves on the back and talk about their own achievements and the shortcomings and transgressions of the cheating foreigners.

Supported by this media-fuelled garbage we then get the FA believing that we really do need an English manager. Admittedly the recent success of Steve McLaren does support this clamour. Ok so let’s go with Allardyce. A man who has won honours as a manager at Bolton, who left them in a strong financial position following the shrewd acquisition of only English players and whose teams played the most attractive football in the English Premiership, never resorting to long ball tactics or thuggery. Ok so maybe every point in the last sentence is incorrect but he is English.

The very mention of his name in the same breath as the words ‘possible English manager’ always makes me smile. Let’s face it he has only two tactics. The second one is kick the right ankle.

And then the piece de resistance. Or for Sam, the main dish. Sam announces that he should manage Real Madrid. I wasn’t having a great day and I needed a good laugh but when I read this I had to wipe the tears from my eyes. Sam, they wouldn’t let you manage Real Madrid under 11’s. They play proper football in teams like that. Sam you have never won anything. You will never win anything. If the FA are ever stupid enough (strong possibility) to appoint you as the manager you will be a laughing stock. England playing the long ball and kicking their opponents will be lucky to win a match at International level never mind a tournament. Sam, you left Bolton “to win silverware”. We are still waiting. The fact that he considers himself in this category sums himself, most English players, and most English managers up perfectly. Overrated and over confident. If not delusional.