To a hammer, everything is a nail. To this Arsenal fan, almost every decision seems to go against our team, directly or indirectly. Arsene has said that he “feels English” and he’s certainly developed our trait for irony, taking one for the team by sarcastically patting on the back the fourth official on Saturday after Alex Song’s ridiculous dismissal. Like our first team, he sat out Tuesday night’s match at Sh*te Hart Lane as punishment for this most heinous of crimes.

On Thursday last week I got to ask Arsene a question – Question 4 – at the Shareholders’ Q&A. I’d prefer to ask Phil Dowd the following: At the Carling Cup final in February, Manchester United’s Nemanja Vidic wrestled to the ground Aston Villa’s Gabriel Agbonlahor in the fifth minute, denying the most obvious goal-scoring opportunity without any attempt to play the ball. Awarding a penalty, not only did you fail to send off Vidic, who was the last defender, you did not show him any card. Can you please tell me why Alex Song’s second booking at Sunderland (after a very harsh first) was worthy of personal punishment when Vidic’s was not?

The chances of me ever getting to pose the above are near-zero. The chances of receiving an acceptable response from Dowd are the square root of near-zero. For good measure, check out Gary Neville’s cynical tackle – also in the fifth minute - at Goodison Park recently. A stonewall booking, as Arch Boor Alan Hansen might say, but Martin Atkinson deemed otherwise. Foul yes, booking no. So Neville Senior was given licence to play with a freedom he should have been denied for the rest of the match. Top sport is won and lost at the margin; such decisions change games and the destiny of titles.

It’s now thirteen away games in all competitions since we last kept a clean sheet at Villa Park on 27th January. Thought I’d end with that, lest you were not sufficiently depressed after reading the above.