The many variations of poker, with the obvious exception of “strip”, strike me as rather dull. Seen from an Arsenal perspective – what other kind is there? – this week’s Carling Cup 3rd Round shenanigans left us just a ManU defeat away from a Royal Flush. Two pair will suffice. First we dispose of our noisy neighbours – isn’t it discomfiting to empathise with Surly? – then, in chronological order, the Chavs, Citeh and Liverpool suffer shock defeats. At Stamford Bridge, Phil Dowd, who’s fast becoming my most despised referee, gave Chelski an absurd late penalty to equalise. No matter, for once. I always cringe when footballers make predictions – my favourite economist says if predictions were possible, socialism would succeed – even if they are world class and laden with medals. Drogba’s pre-match “We can do the quadruple” suddenly appears plain stupid and arrogant.

Gooners who have urged Arsene to Spend, Spend, Spend must now resolve Citeh’s woes. Spending more money than one could sheikh a stick at, much good has it done them. Losing to The Baggies may have made a Royal Blush. My only regret is that our next opponents were not made to work another 30 minutes for their reward. Those saying lazily that Arsene fielded a strong team at SHL should be careful. Frimpong and seven first teamers were injured. In addition, Almunia, Sagna, Clichy, Arshavin, Chamakh, Song and Squillaci did not start. That 15 represents a squad to envy, so please don’t say again we lack strength in depth.

You either attended the game or, more likely, watched on TV. I made do with my wireless set and the excellent 5Live duo of Mark Pougatch and Steve Claridge, who both heaped praise on all bar our Pole between the sticks. Fabianski lost another life on Tuesday; Arsene has promised him more chances, but not ten. Hopefully our manager is not a cat-lover and Szczesny’s chance will come before he, umm, ups sticks. If Charles Darwin were alive today, he’d doubtless identify the 20-year old as The Missing Link in Arsene’s creation.