39 year-old Audley Harrison was introduced to the non-urinating, non-slurping, non-munching Gooner public at half-time during the recent Newcastle debacle. How poignant. Moments earlier, Andy Carroll had beaten easily an equally hesitant Lukasz Fabianski – who has more realistic ambitions to be a Number 1 – to the punch, delivering a knock-out blow. How apt, too, that Audley should plagiarise the equally ineffective Barack Obama’s ludicrous mantra: ‘Yes, I can’ in his over-hyped self-promotion. Audley is no has been; he’s a never was. To indulge him represented a significant error of judgement by our club’s Powers That Be. It’s great whenever a Gooner wins in Manchester. Do so, he should have been told, and you’ll lead out the team, WBA (World Boxing Association, not West Bromwich Albion) belt held proudly aloft, when the equally deluded Spuds infest our ground. Retirement beckons. Earlier on Saturday, another Gooner, Michael Bear, who is sure to have a busy year, became the 683rd Lord Mayor of London. I wish him well.

In fairness to Fabianski, he’s given near-faultless displays in two winning away games since the incident above. His understudy’s putting of pen to paper was, though, of even greater significance to Arsenal’s long-term ambitions. Szczesny, 20, may still be our Number 1 when he’s 39.

Following hot on the heels of Kieran Gibbs and Jack Wilshere, fellow Arsenal Academy alumni Jay Bothroyd has received Capello’s call. Including Cashley but, for consistency, not Southampton product Theo, that makes four of Wednesday’s squad to face France at Wembley. Like the burgeoning National Debt, English football’s debt to Arsene continues to grow.

Arsene’s attention to detail is not followed by the official website. At least two match reports have missed bookings to our players recently but it gets worse. Today, Bacary Sagna is interviewed by Richard Clark, who writes: “Arsenal have now taken 14 points away and 12 at home in six matches at either venue”. And there was I thinking 6 + 6 = 12, not 13. Under today’s Loan Watch, “… eight young Gunners have already linked up with their loan clubs”. Count ‘em: Traore, Mannone, Afobe, Hoyte, Cruise, Botelho, Bartley, Evina, Galindo, Coquelin, Barazite, Freeman, Randall and Watt.