I must admit I had a bad feeling about this game, although to be perfectly honest I didn't quite see it turning out the way it did. Being a bit suspicious of lunchtime kick offs, I had visions of Arsenal starting slowly and Spurs coming fast out of the traps. I imagined 'arry putting out two wingers (which he did) and the pair of them terrorising our ever so slightly suspect full backs. As it turned out, both Sagna and Clichy had reasonable games, and quite strangely the ball never got out wide. The main reason for that was a bit of an obsession with Rafael Van der Vaart, who as far as I could make out was completely average. RVP has been gobbing off in the press all week about how we should have signed him. Sorry Robin, but I would suggest you stick to your day job. He might have a tasty wife, but he's also got bandy legs and a bit of a beer belly. Watching him and Denilson go for the same ball was a bit like watching your least favourite film in slo-mo. One of 'arry's impulse buys. I have the same urge to buy those giant sized Quality Street chocolates while I'm hanging around the till in Sainsbury's, so I find it hard to blame him. To accommodate him means playing Modric at 'left half'. How dumb is that?
Anyway, imagine my surprise when Arsenal leapt into the fray like men possessed and went two up. Game over as far as I'm concerned. I'm already concocting cryptic little texts to a few Sperz fans of whom I have the unfortunate acquaintance. A bloody good job I kept my mouth shut.
The second half was a different story. I'm sure 'arry will tell the press that this rapid change in fortune was a direct result of his inspiring team talk and a few astute tactical tweaks. Don't you believe it. He's just after the England job. What really happened was that Arsenal decided to stop playing. We've seen it all before, haven't we? Strolling, showboating, forgetting to do the basics? Scoring goals a slightly less attractive option? Yes, you've guessed.
When their first goal went in I could see it all coming. Laziness, sloppiness, lack of determination. The next time you watch the goal on TV, assuming you've got nothing better to do, just watch Denilson and tell me what he's doing. I think you'll find he's jogging, even though there were undiscovered tribes in Papua New Guinea who could sense there was an immediate threat on goal. How can you be a professional athlete and not be able to run, but then who am I to argue with GPS collated stats?
Of course "stats" are all the rage these days and you can see why. It means you don't actually have to watch games and use the benefit of your own eyes. "Lies, damn lies, and statistics". Some bloke called Winstone said that so it must be true. One of the frequently spouted 'stats' is that Arshavin's assists are 'awesome'. I'm sorry to disappoint you all, but that 'fact' covers up a whole multitude of fibs. The thing is with world class players, when you stick them in the penalty area with the ball at their feet, they have this overpowering urge to slam the ball in the net. All other possibilities are there to be discussed at a later date. Let's say you continually opt to let someone else take the responsibility, then perhaps you can explain to me where an 'assist' stops and a 'cop out' starts? As an aside, I'd love to know his fitness 'stats'. If his name was Andrew Arse-Upwards from Upminster, he wouldn't get in the side.
The sad thing is we're not a bad team. Arsene Wenger isn't doing a bad job. We just haven't got that little bit extra that enables us to beat teams like Spurs, who probably by their own admission, are inferior. At the end of the day we can't hold on to a two-nil lead at home to a team who were, in reality, under-performing. Where's that going to get us?
Chelsea lost. We could have been top.
For f***'s sake!