Why do I support a team that does this to me? How can I support a team where no lead is truly safe? Why oh why do I have to support the good guys?
Why can't I be dense enough to follow Abramovich's millions and whatever they may bring? Why am I not shallow enough to put my fingers in my ears and sing 'blue is the colour' as the tainted trophies come by the oil barrel load? Why wasn't I dropped on my head as a child so I could worship the adulterer adonis of John Terry why oh why?!
If only I could be as vacant as a Manc, cheering Rooney despite him bending my club over for a wage rise, enjoying getting a penalty in every meaningful match from that lovely ubiquitous Webb and celebrating the career of Gary Neville without even a hint of irony. Why am I tragically capable of understanding the concept of debt but incapable of calling the opposition manager a paedophile?
Why was I tragically not born delusional enough to support Spurs? Why isn't my manager famed for his wheeler-dealer weaver-dodger heroics and laughing in the face of bankruptcy from another club's dugout? That Olympic stadium looks well good and all.
We drew, United lost. One point closer.
Twitter: Cloxdale