(Ed’s Note – Following on from Part 1 which can be read here)

Newcastle United 1993-1998
The Geordies have always had a ‘Life of Brian’ style policy on the ‘Messiah’, with Kevin Keegan though there was a period where much of the country believed in their messiah too. One of my earliest memories of Football was the fuss that surrounded Kev’s farewell back in 1984. With the North East hit by the industrial decline of the Thatcher years, Kevin was an oasis in the Geordie desert. By the time of his return in the early nineties’ he was their embodiment of the phoenix rising from the flames and bringing exciting free flowing football to boot. In comparison, though the Arsenal of the early to mid-90s were still picking up trophies and reaching finals, it was stale and turgid unwatchable football devoid of attacking flair. They’d also fell out of contention for the title around this time, where Newcastle at the start of 1996 were topping the table. They blow their big chance, long since symbolised by Kev’s ‘I would love if we beat them’ rant to Richard Keys on Sky Sports. Fact is though; most of us really would have loved it if he actually did beat smug Fergie.

Kev’s idealism and passion was commendable, however as with the same accusation once levelled at former Scotland manager Ally McLeod, he probably too thought that tactics were those little Peppermint Sweets and nothing crystallised this more than the famous Liverpool 4-3 game of 1996. Also he was spendthrift – in just five years at the helm he had spent £60m. His average spend was £12m a year, just £3m short of the British record in 1997 of £15m (spent by Keegan on Shearer which itself beat the previous record by £6.5m!). Between 1993 and 1998 Arsenal and Newcastle also went from opposite ends of the spectrum with regard to popularity with the neutrals, with key battles between the two sides that marked the changing of the guard.

In November 1996 a 2-1 win at St. James’s Park became a sign that ‘Arsene Who’ could well be a force to be reckoned with for many years to come. And of course the 1998 FA Cup final win at Wembley, by which time Arsenal were winning plaudits for fluent football while Newcastle conversely were rapidly losing friends and perceived as arrogant. Graham Kelly had alleged Alan Shearer had threatened to withdraw himself from France ‘98 if reprimanded for his apparent kicking of Leicester’s Neil Lennon in the head, as well as the fallout from the Stevenage Cup tie back in January. And in March of ’98 Freddie Shepherd and Douglas Hall were exposed by the News of the World’s ‘Fake Sheikh’ for mocking the fans, Geordie females and ‘Mary Poppins himself, Alan Shearer.

Newcastle appeared in two one-sided back to back Cup finals at the end of the 90s under two different managers, which quite frankly made it a relief when they failed to reach a third losing in a semi in 2000. By the turn of the millennium the nation’s love affair with ‘Keeganism’ also waned with England’s early exit from Euro 2000 and the spur of the moment resignation from the England job after the Germany defeat which mirrored his walk out on St. James’s Park four years earlier.

Portsmouth 2002-2009
The Premiership and Champions League era has undoubtedly made it more difficult to build up a plutonic liking for neutral side, due to the chronic polarisation within the Premiership. Though an oligarchy has built up within the top four, of which Arsenal seem to be a comfortable member of, there is now such an insurmountable gap between the oligarchy and the rest that the on pitch attitude of many of the smaller clubs, e.g. Stoke, Bolton, Hull etc. tends to be one of nihilistic destruction in order to survive at the top – and particularly when they face Arsenal. Similarly, between the top four too much envy, suspicion and loathing to ever be a mutual liking. One possible exception from an Arsenal point of view is possibly Portsmouth. Why Portsmouth? Well Harry Redknapp’s admission of being an Arsenal fan as a youngster seemed to have been mirrored through many of the former Arsenal personnel at Fratton Park during his time there.

From the beginning Paul Merson was the big inspiration behind their 2002 promotion to the Premiership, followed by Kanu, Lauren, Sol Campbell, Lassana Diarra, Armand Traore and Tony Adams on the coaching staff, who later was Harry’s hapless replacement. Fratton Park, being an old style football ground, also had a bit of raw energy long lost in most premiership grounds. The Fratton Park crowd also were quick to show their appreciation for Arsenal’s masterclass in 2004 and such appreciation was in turn reciprocated by Thierry Henry. Our fans however showed little sensitivity to their plight on their last Premiership visit to Fratton Park in Dec 20009, chanting ‘we’re all standing on a future block of flats’. Come on, show some empathy lads!

Barcelona 2009-2010
The envy within the oligarchy has no doubt made us very Tottenham-esque with the love of Schadenfreude when Chelsea and United get beaten and never was it sweeter than with the Champions League run-in of 2008/09. Humbled by United in the semi we faced the horrific prospect of a repeat of the 2008 Final between Chelsea and Man Utd, with Gooners trying to decide who we’d least like to see win it. Thankfully it never happened, Chelsea were denied four penalty appeals before being undone by an Iniesta wonder goal. The 2009 final was even better, in the words of Patrice Evra it was ‘men against boys’ and for that moment at least Barcelona was officially twinned with Ashburton Grove. The architect of the great Barca side – Pep Guardiola – is heavily influenced by Arsene Wenger, so much so that when his Barca playing career ended he wanted to move to Arsenal in a coaching capacity with Wenger as his mentor. However such a scenario never materialised. The ‘sharing’ of personnel is also quite apparent – on Barca’s books at the time of the 2009 final was Henry, Sylvinho, Van Bronckhorst and Alex Hleb. Previously Barca have lured away Overmars and Petit. Moving in the opposite direction had been Fran Merida and Cesc Fabregas.

Barca are a bigger and better version of Arsenal – they play football the right way, have a policy of producing talent in house, however unlike us have the reserves to bring a big talent in to supplement their in house produce. After all, we moved to a new 60,000 stadia to meet the demand of our fan base, in the 1950s Barca moved away from a 60,000 stadia to the Camp Nou to do the very same thing. However the plutonic love has soured in the last twelve months. This is partly with our (albeit deserved) drubbing last season, but also the Cesc saga of last summer. When you’re a poor man in comparison, it’s one thing to have a Robert Redford figure lure your Demi Moore missus away for £1Million; it’s quite another thing when Redford has maxed out his finances and wants to offer you the knockdown price of £250,000 instead.

You’ll have noticed that all of the other ‘plutonics’ had the happy ending of Arsenal surpassing them in quality and this one… well we can but hope. In Valentine’s week I suppose you have to be optimistic for a little romance!