Fozzy’s mate 
As Jeff Stelling cried "Hang your head in shame Manuel Almunia!" Following the second WBA goal recently my mind went into overdrive as an endless catalogue of previous howlers flashed before my eyes. Post game my brother texted me to say ‘Is he the worst ever?’ He rang me to explain his thought process; there have been bad players, which is inevitable with our buy ‘em cheap and sell ‘em dear transfer strategy. However the likes of Cygan, Stepanovs, Diawara, Wreh and latterly Bischoff (newspaper headlines in Germany crying Arsenal sign Werder nobody) have made a few fleeting appearances, initially been hailed by Wenger as the next Adams, Vieira or Henry, then played up to their transfer fee (often free) and disappeared back to some Polish non-league side never to be seen again.
The mysterious case of the plate and ball dropping Manuel is very different and extremely baffling. In the summer of 2004 rumours circulated of Arsenal looking for a long-term no1 as Jens Lehman, who did not have age on his side, had taken to attacking any striker that dared enter his penalty area. However the low key signing of the unknown Almunia was reported as being merely to add some cover. As we all know any speculation or signing by Arsenal is rare, so I did some initial research. The results told me this was not the new David Seaman/Bob Wilson/John Lukic. His parent club Celta Vigo rated him so highly he had not featured in their first team for three seasons and had been loaned out to a number of lowly Spanish clubs/restaurants. But more alarmingly this 28-year-old "shot stopper" had played 15 first team games in his whole career.
Anyway he was quietly ushered in by our bulging pockets board buried beneath headlines about Wenger’s amazing Invincibles and how the move to Ashburton Grove would see us dominate for years to come. As the 49 game unbeaten run came to an end and Jens became ever more erratic we saw the first worrying appearances of Manuel. My earliest memory is his Usain Bolt like sprint from his goal and how he then hid - cartoon character like - behind his near post to give a young Christiano Ronaldo a two minute brace and condemn us to a 4-2 defeat to Manure having led both 1-0 and 2-1. That was during a brief but comedic spell as no1 where myself and fellow west stand lower season ticket holders chortled as he juggled and spilt. And if he actually caught the ball ironic cheers would ring out across Highbury. Thankfully that stint as first choice did not last long and we hoped the plate juggling waiter would not be seen again. The 2005/6 season was dominated by Jens’ heroics on our charge to the Champions League final. All of us that were in Paris that night or watching on TV witnessed Manuel point Eto’o to the yawning gap at his near post and then manage to back heel Belleti’s shot from an impossible angle into the net.
Over that summer with the move to the E******s afoot rumours started, which have lasted five years, about us signing an established world class keeper to which Wenger worryingly responded that if Mad Jens did depart Almunia would become no1! Surely he was only jesting? But no, after at the start of the 2007/8 season after Lehman errors v Fulham and Blackburn, the rise from obscurity was complete as Manuel was anointed no1 by AW, much to Jens’ understandable annoyance and frustration and the confusion/dismay of the Highbury faithful. For the next three seasons we were treated to a litany of Manuel disasters of which my personal favourites were the flap into his own net v Manure and then the chocolate wrists push over his head into the net at St Andrews last season. To be fair he has the odd decent game, such as the away leg at OT in the Champs League. This to everyone's amazement led to AW stating that Manuel was the best keeper in the Premiership (he did at the same time say Denilson was the best midfield player). However he soon made up for this by diving under a 40 yard free kick from Ronaldo as yet again we collapsed on the big occasion. From then on we heard various stories of our Manuel being the world’s greatest - in training!
Fast forward to the summer of 2010/11 where AW finally admits neither Manuel or any of the other keepers are good enough or experienced enough. He, as is standard form, offers fifty pence for Schwarzer and allegedly a paltry sum for Pepe Reina. And somehow we start this campaign with - after six seasons - Manuel as no1. Finally (we hope) things reach an all time low with possibly the worst ever goalkeeping perfromance in the dismal 3-2 defeat at home to WBA. After this abyss-like display it appeared our Manuel had finally been relegated to washing the dishes behind the other (according to AW) world class keeper at the club, who also moonlighted in a Polish circus, Lukasz the great Flapianski and the bionic keeper who had recovered from a double arm break, Wojciech Szczesny. According to a recent interview with Bob Wilson we have another class keeper on our books, "Don" Vito Manone, who many fans had suggested had got his Mafia minders to pay AW to give him a game. The keeper curse struck again as Chesney crocked the flapper and then in attempting to balance a ball on his finger got injured himself.
So there we were at the Hawthorns with Almunia, six years on from the first infamous sprint v Manure, watching Manuel fly out of the starting blocks and straight into oblivion (we can only hope). No doubt Mad Jens (while having a wry smile) Jeff Stelling (while crying out in exclamation) and a million Arsenal supporters across the world asked themselves the same question:
How does a little known Spanish waiter become no1 keeper at one of the giants of the world game? Only Mr Wenger can tell us that. In him we may trust but only he can answer this never ending conundrum!
