Tony Potter and the philosopher's stone

Reflections on the match at the Britannia



Tony Potter and the philosopher's stone

Come back Hermione, all is forgiven…


Is Tony Pulis a genius? Has he got a magic hat? Or is it just so obvious to everyone else but Arsene Wenger that there is a clear and well-known formula for beating Arsenal and it is by no means a magical one.

Did we register a single shot on target in the first half against the Potters? If we did, I must have missed it. A complete lack of invention, creativity and crisp passing at the business-end of the field meant that Stoke were always able to regroup and get two banks of four giants in between Arsene's dwarves and the goal. We just looked so very, erm, well.. Hi, Ho by comparison, didn't we?

Stoke seemed happy enough to let Arsenal have the ball right up until the very edge of their penalty box, knowing a 30-yard screamer was about as likely to come from an Arsenal player as a public apology and an admission of guilt from Ryan Shawcross to Aaron Ramsey.

Watching Match of The Day's goal-of-the-month competition on Sunday morning made for some pretty uncomfortable viewing for this Gooner’s eyes because, amongst all the 30 yard pile-drivers, there was not a single candidate from an Arsenal player.

If only we could have taken on more shots this season from good shooting positions instead of trying to pass our way through non-existent gaps in the opposition defence, we could have won the league this year. At times we look like we are trying to thread a needle whilst blindfolded, our play is so fiddly and unnecessarily intricate.

Our complete inability to score headed goals on a consistent basis has also bitten us on the backside, and Arsene Wenger should take a look at Everton's win over Moneybags City to see the value of pinpoint crossing and bullet headers to a team’s goal tally over the course of a season.

Every set piece by Tony Pulis' Potters seemed to inspire feelings of impending doom for Arsenal’s players and fans alike, and - sure enough - their first goal did indeed come from a free-kick. Djourou slipped and allowed Kenwyne Jones to get goalside of him and chest the ball into the net. Yet again, we conceded a soft goal from a free-kick and our groundhog-style mistakes continue to be punished by any manager that has eyes to see where Arsenal's obvious deficiencies lie.

Hearing the Potters’ fans’ chants of "one nil to the rugby team" hit me in the guts like a punch to the solar plexus as, contrary to what some of you might think, I am NOT a Tottenham fan and I was praying to be writing about a magnificent display from Arsenal and an Aaron Ramsey hat-trick. Instead we were beaten fairly and squarely and Jermaine Pennant scored the obligatory wonder goal against his former club. Shame it didn't work out for him at Arsenal, as he'd probably make at least our bench quite easily now. It's sad to say that players from a team like Stoke could actually make our bench, but give me Kenwyne Jones over Niklas Bendtner any day of the week.

Another poor piece of defending from Djourou after the fantastic Van Persie had provided us with a lifeline in the game gifted Walters a very soft goal, although I admit he did take it very well.

We now have a rivalry with a rugby team that is based not only on the ill-will born in the aftermath of the Aaron Ramsey injury (or the Shawcross redemption as Alan Davies humorously christened it) but also on their increasing ability to get a result against us. Tony Potter has stumbled upon Sam Allardyce's philosopher’s stone, which contains the blueprint for how to get a result against Arsenal, and is not afraid to use it or improve upon it.

Legend has it that the stone says...

If thou doth require to vanquish the mighty Arsenal, thou must press them mightily, get men behind the ball and try to steal a goal (or two or three) from quick counter-attacks and well-worked set pieces. Do not fear them but rather intimidate them and make them fear you. Take advantage of their soft underbelly and they will make mistakes. Do unto them these things, brave Sir, and thou shalt emerge victorious.

Arsene Wenger is now being out-thought tactically by Tony Pulis and his team is being physically outfought by teams like Stoke City. Sam Allardyce now feels comfortable enough to label Arsene Wenger publicly as "tactically naive" and only time will tell if Arsene Wenger will one day find the antidote to the curse of Tony Potter and the philosopher’s stone.

The truth hurts, guys, doesn't it? I'm no Tottenham fan and I don't revel in the misfortunes of Arsenal F.C., but a lot of us saw this one coming and just have this weird urge to tell it like it is.


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25
comments

  1. Stan lee

    May 11, 2011, 0:59 #6652

    Joe.. you're one a a kind mate..

  2. Amog

    May 11, 2011, 0:06 #6651

    Thanks for being honest and lightheartedly humorous. If we don't laugh we cry. Learnig to write! was it intentional? I doubt it coming from a Potter!

  3. Arsene Knows!

    May 10, 2011, 22:34 #6648

    You really must be a tottenham or Stoke fan. how can you stick up for Stoke or Sam Allardyce? Wenger has qualified for Champions league for the last 14 years!! who do you think can ever replace him?

  4. BNG

    May 10, 2011, 9:20 #6587

    " well done on learnig to write " priceless Sime Priceless

  5. George

    May 10, 2011, 9:14 #6586

    I guess there are a number of managers who will claim intellectual property for the 'blueprint' how to play Arsenal (Mark Hughes did so even though he lost with Fulham). Newcastle did it and ManCity as well. I don't think there is any brilliancy involved in standing deep against Arsenal. For many teams it will be in fact the only option. Arsenal has refined their counterattack style, often initiated by a quick 3 meter pass in their on half. To prevent these balls it takes a different style and level of defending that the odd PL team cannot deliver. So we will see this tactic to be deployed by most of the teams next season. What is remedy? Headers? Yes, but how realistic is it that we find players with a strong aeriel skills that fit our bill otherwise as well? While technique on the ground has overall improved, Head play has imo deteriorrated (worldwide), and we don't want a Peter Crouch style player. We will have to resort to quick changes of pace, that is something we have not seen against stoke and that is why I believe that Cesc will still be important for us. What we could also look for would be a player with skills in terms of distance shots. Most of our attempts from outside the box positions are very poor.

  6. Sime

    May 10, 2011, 8:33 #6585

    Man City have a squad? I thought they had a bunch of multi-million pound signings that are unhappy as they never get to play. Did you expect Ryan to kiss his leg better? Give it a rest. Ramsey lunged in to a 50-50 ball and came of second best, possibly because of Bentner pulling his shirt. None of your players gave a damn at the time, making sure Ryan got sent off instead. You enjoy pushing on, the rest of the country is looking forward to seeing tou fail. Again. BORING, BORING, BORING.

  7. Joe Fitzpatrick

    May 10, 2011, 7:55 #6584

    Oslostokie- thank you for being respectful in your attitude. I wouldn't dream of gloating on a Stoke website so I don't know why some of your fans aren't simply celebrating in the pubs and clubs! Your observations are spot on. Like I say, give me Kenwyne Jones or Pennant or Huth or Etherington any day of the Week.

  8. ppp

    May 10, 2011, 0:56 #6579

    If Wenger is tactically naive why is Pulis's fantastic team 8th and Arsenal are 3rd. Is Allardyce even in a job at the moment? If you love Pulis and Allardyce Joe - then you should support one of their sh**y teams and leave Arsenal to the Arsenal fans.

  9. fozza

    May 10, 2011, 0:11 #6577

    Joe. Were you pissed up when you wrote that nonsense... or are you just educationally sub-normal? Those are the only choices. There is no other explanation for your bull-****.

  10. Oslostokie

    May 09, 2011, 18:59 #6564

    A Stoke fan in peace not hear to gloat or to drone on about the Ramsey-ShawX incident, which has been done to death, but merely to give some honest opinions on the Arsenal side and their performance yesterday. When I think back to the first time we played you at the Britt on our return to the Prem, although we won 2-1, there were none of our players at that time that I would not have swapped with yours. However, having witnessed the peformance yesterday and watched several of your matches this season, I would say that we now have 3 or 4 players who would certainly improve your team. Probably not technically, but certainly in terms of mental and physical toughness which, whether Mr Wenger likes it or not, is a big part of the game in this country. Although that is in part due to us having improved the quality of our team over the last couple of years, I believe it is also down to a deterioration in the quality of the Arsenal team. When the fixture list appears at the start of each season, one instinctively looks for the home games against the "Big 4" (Man U - Chelsea - Arsenal - L'Pool). Against the first two named, we never expect to get anything as they can stand up to our physicality and mental toughness, and then use their superior technical ability to gain an odd goal victory. Against Arsenal, and recently L'Pool, we almost certainly fancy ourselves. Yesterday proved that. In fact, when we were concerned about relegation a few weeks back, most of us put us down for 3 points against you lot. If I was Arsene, I would be looking at the rock solid defence you had under George Graham, two of which (Dixon and Bould) you bought for peanuts from Stoke. Players who knew their primary responsibility was to defend. In my opinion, it is clear that a player like Huth (not ShawX for obvious reasons although I think he would...) and any one of our keepers or our robust fullbacks would improve Arsenal's prospects enormously. Not that I'm encouraging a bid as they are so key to our success! Onto the players to come out with any credit yesterday, I would point out RvP, always a class act and very similar to a left footed Dutch player we had called Peter Hoekstra who was paraded in front of the crowsdyesterday along with his team of Groningen youngsters, who you sportingly clapped. I thought Sagna did ok, as well as the centre half (not the dreadful Djourou!). Arshavin looked totally lost, Ramsey is too lightweight alongside the superior Wilshere, and Walcott does not seem to know how to impose himself on the game. At least Wilshere played like he cared. I know you had some notable absentees, but so did we (Etherington and Fuller). I work with a few French people, and they can be super-humanly stubborn. Hopefully for your sakes, Wenger realises that his players are not quite as gifted as Barcelona's and cannot win this league through pure technique alone, otherwise I think your wait for a trophy will be a long one indeed.

  11. Paul

    May 09, 2011, 18:44 #6563

    A group of multi-millionaires walked on to the pitch at Stoke yesterday. Followed by Stoke City.But Stoke City gave our bottlers a football lesson.How our players have the cheek to pick up their wages after that performance shows how out of touch Wengers pappered pussies really are.Do these players have any shame?Did they do extra training to day.Did they ****.Everything that is wrong about Arsenal is reflected by our £7m a year manager who doesnt see anything and his bunch of losers.Good luck Cesc in Barcelona a player of your talents deserves better than this shower.The day Wenger leaves cant come quickly enough

  12. Joe fitzpatrick

    May 09, 2011, 18:22 #6562

    Sime- yes but Citeh have this magical thing called a squad- something Stoke city can only dream of... and let's be honest we're gonna finish 4th and you will finish... Where? amazing that so many Stoke fans want to come here to gloat over what is probably only a meaningless and hollow victory. Shawcross apology? Wasn't enough for me... Especially as he also broke Jeffers leg and is definitely that type of player. Loved the way he left the pitch blubbing because he was scared he was gonna get in trouble... Not be because he was sorry!!! we Gooners have different standards to you lot because we dream of trophies and are not happy that we haven't won the league in a while. You lot on the other hand are happy to merely exist and perpetuate your sad existence by hook or by crook. But I still respect the fans of Stoke city because I could not watch that rubbish every week.. The beer at your place must be outstanding! And the pies!! I'll be a Gooner for life and look forward to us pushing forward and winning the league again soon.

  13. Tricky_Rici

    May 09, 2011, 18:21 #6561

    Joe Fitzpatrick - The only reason Stoke won was because you had very little to play for? Do you want to read that back again and realise how stupid it sounds? We are safe in the prem with nothing to play for and have an FA Cup final next week, so we were tip-toeing around trying not to get injured or sent off. You may have had only a little chance to win the league but it was still there and Wilshere and Song didn't seem to be taking the game lightly. By all means try to belittle our abilities every time we beat you but at least try and come up with something with a little more foundation.

  14. GaryFootscrayAustralia

    May 09, 2011, 17:58 #6558

    I can't believe I actually laughed when Pennant scored...never done that before. Usually I'm as furious as Lee Dixon used to be every time a goal was conceded, but now?....if I didn't see the comedy of it all it would proper do my head in, and our current squad of fakes, with the obvious and recurring exceptions, aren't worth the emotional investment. They don't try hard enough to earn it. I moved to England from Australia in '83 with my Norf London dad, and the bugger punished me by making me watch Terry Neill's team, so now I tease him with "You made me watch John Hawley and Lee Chapman - now you can watch Eboue and Denilson"...

  15. Sime

    May 09, 2011, 17:15 #6553

    You do realise that Ryan made a public apology don't you? Yet more lazy journalism. You also seem to forget that Citeh play tomorrow night so who's going to be the freshest in the final? I'd sooner watch us than BORING, BORING, BORING tippy tappy backward square passing in the midfield getting nowhere. Anyway, well done on learnig to write, not many Cockneys can

  16. Charles Daddy

    May 09, 2011, 17:00 #6551

    Arsenal are one of the very few clubs who can afford to play that style of football ( and not get in money/relegation trouble) and an element of your fans, backed by lazy and incompetant elements of the London media, get sniffy about a club for not playing the same ineffectual style - comic.

  17. Joe Fitzpatrick

    May 09, 2011, 13:19 #6536

    Wow thanks for the intelligent comments lads, I must say that you Stoke fans are amazing. The way you go to the Brittania stadium each and every week, knowing full well that you're only going to see balls being toweled and thrown at the heads of Giants by an Irish javelin thrower!! You still go and watch that ****e even though it's soo boring that you want to eat your own teeth. Yes Arsenal have a bit of sorting out to do at the back but do not ever think that you are anything but lucky to have been playing a shell shocked Arsenal team with very little to play for as Man City lost. Now you expended all that energy on us and you will lose the FA cup to Citeh! In fairness, I didn't know that Stoke fans could read.... Good for you.

  18. HowardL

    May 09, 2011, 12:59 #6531

    Joe - I shared your feelings entirely about the MOTD goals - remember when DB10 goals finished in Positions 1, 2 and 3...light years away

  19. The KungFuDetective

    May 09, 2011, 12:55 #6530

    Must say as I cast my mind back to the game last year prior to the terrible Ramsey injury one thing consistently bubbles up. After the much hyped build up, Wenger had clearly told his team to give as good as they got. To press harder and go in to tackles with confidence. And I must say, they were better for it. It was a great game up to the injury and I thought Arsenal looked fearsome combining flare and skill with strength and purpose. Then there was the injury and everything changed with it all turning into some kind of battle of the ideologies which got in the way of the Gunners making progress. Stoke however, have dug in and tried to slowly improve their game ignoring lazy journalism and punditry and torrents of interfering criticism. It's time for all to move on and acknowledge each others strengths and remember its not politics, its a game. opinions win you nothing - goals and clean sheets do. You may have worked out by now that I am a Stoke fan. But one who wishes the Gunners good luck for next season (in all but two games) in breaking the Chelsea/Man U duopoly. You're not pansies and we're not thugs - just a couple of teams with different approaches to the game but the same love of our clubs and a desire to win.

  20. Richard Ansell

    May 09, 2011, 12:44 #6529

    As usual Joe I have to agree 100% with your analysis. How much longer can this sort of performance be tolerated? What else needs to happen to convince the remaining AKBs that eyerything in Arsene's garden is far from rosey? I can not understand how Wenger can sit through the same mistakes and poor performances that we all do and then do absolutely nothing about it! Please God someone get him out. As for the likes of Mandy Dodd who no doubt will say who should replace him, well who had heard of Wenger before he came to Arsenal, and surely there has to be someone out there that is at least worth a try?

  21. Yep

    May 09, 2011, 12:42 #6528

    Well said. Oh but how dare you criticise Arsene our Dear Leader! He was once a good manager in 2004 don't you know!!!

  22. Steve

    May 09, 2011, 12:02 #6522

    How refeshing to read a piece written so honestly by an opposing fan. Take a bow son. From my point of view the way that Stoke went after Arsenal yesterday was down to a sheer desire to show that we are more than a lot of 'northern cloggers' and that given half a chance we can play a bit. The two clubs have previous - everyone knows that, and maybe i'm speaking out of turn but the desire to win against the Gunners is fuelled by wanting to ram Arsene Wenger's analysis of our team back down his throat. That said, post match he was gracious to a fault and focused on what had unfolded on the pitch. As supporters we know we haven't got the startlets that grace the Emirates, they don't have the technical ability of Nasri (badly missed) or a Wilshire. What they do have though is pure belief and a desire to show that, what ever their limitations, that they will not simply roll over. Personally I hope the Ramsey / Shawcross thing simply fades away over the years. The media and small groups of fans on both sides feed off it to the detriment of what happens on the pitch every time they play each other. Arsenal v Stoke always has been one to watch. It just seems ironic that going back over the years when the Gunners defence was so much stronger and determined, it was partly because they took Bould and Dixon from the Potteries! Here's to next year's clashes .. Our place first next season isn't it?

  23. Nigel

    May 09, 2011, 11:49 #6518

    You ARSEnal fans do have an inflated opinion of yourselves. Six or seven years without a trophy, speaks volumes. We play such wonderful football, I here you all cry. Stoke are not fit to wipe your arses. Talk about how embarassed you are that a Stoke player might make your bench. Get a reality check boys - you play nice football - but have a crap keeper , a crap defence , apart from van Persie a crap forward line. Apart from your midfielders only Van Persie would make the Stoke bench.

  24. Tomjones

    May 09, 2011, 10:53 #6505

    Swing low sweet chariot! Up the Potters!

  25. Mark

    May 09, 2011, 10:40 #6502

    teams know if they keep arsenal out for 30 mins that arsenal will eventually make a mistake. this is because of the mental frailty of our players in that we get more nervous at 0-0 than all other teams. we dont have the mental strength it takes to hold and win a match with 20 mins to go. we dont have a plan B. we dont create nearly enough changes anymore and we leake goal chances to the other team every match so often the other team's spirits are always high. did you see JS Park and Valencia defending against chelsea ? yes defending in front of their full backs made sure Cole and Ivanovic never got into manu box once. yes defending ! and yet did you see their attacking ? both had good shots on goal and both created goal chances. it is not bloody rocket science.