The Gooner Librarian
This piece by Mike Slaughter first appeared in issue 52 of The Gooner in February 1994, ten months before that goal.
There cannot be a single Gunners fan who is not aware of the fact that John Jensen, our midfield scouser lookalike, has been turned into a cult hero these last two months because of the simple fact that he just cannot score a goal. Both William Hill and Ladbrokes must be making a small fortune out of fans who are regularly putting money on Jensen to be the first goalscorer, and as each game goes by, more and more money goes over the counter as Johnny appear to be getting nearer to scoring that elusive goal. He score a penalty for Arsenal once, but that was in the Charity Shield penalty shoot-out and therefore doesn’t count.
Johnny has now played 70 competitive games and his goalscoring under achievements are growing with each game. We can see that he is desperate to get a goal and he knows that we are desperate to see him score. You can sense the air of anticipation amongst the crowd whenever he gets the ball in a goal scoring position and he has certainly looking good in midfield lately after having his perm straightened.
He joined Arsenal soon after his stunning strike in the European Championship final and Gooners everywhere dribbled with anticipation at the thought of 25 yard volleys and 30 yard piledrivers. Unfortunately for us, we were sold someone who possesses the goalscoring prowess of David Hillier and Gus Caesar.
It was 51 games before the aforementioned Hillier broke his goalscoring virginity and wondered how to celebrate, but there is actually one player currently playing for us who has played more games than Jensen without scoring – Martin Keown.
Martin’s two spells has meant a total of 74 games but the fact he is a defender mean that he is not expected to score. George Graham appears to be trying to change that by regularly playing him in the middle but it’s obvious that Keown suffers from dehydration because every time he pulls on an Arsenal shirt, the goals dry up. He’s another player who can score for his country but seemingly not for his club.
Johnny has a long way to before beating the all-time record that Roddie McEachrane holds with no goals in an incredible 343 games for the club.
The following season, in issue 57, Mike provided a “Blankwatch” update after Jensen scored again for Denmark in a match against Belgium...
When the previous article was published JJ had played 70 games for the game and was actually behind Martin Keown who had appeared 74 times. Jensen played only a further 11 times last season as he was hampered by a leg injury that kept him out of the Cup Winners Cup Final against Parma. Keown made a further 16 appearances which took him past stars such as W C Seddon, Jim Fotheringham and Horace Cope in the Arsenal goal virgins chart.
Keown’s appearances now stand at 100 with no goals, while Jensen is ten games back on 90. Stefan Schwarz, who many fans have compared to Jensen, at least demonstrated his prowess in front of goal is of a higher level thanks to his strike against Nicosia.
By the time issue 58 was published, another update was required...
And then there was one. Congratulations to Martin Keown for scoring his first ever goal for Arsenal when he headed in on his 112th appearance against Nottingham Forest which leaves Jensen all alone from the current team as a goalscoring virgin.
Jensen’s run now stands at 95 games which means he is now 16th in the all-time table of Arsenal appearances without a goal having overtaken Joe Wade and John Sneddon recently. Due to George Graham’s unwillingness to play JJ in consecutive games and Paul Ince’s vicious tackles, Jensen’s appearances is rising quite slowly but he should definitely make the magic 100 mark quite soon.
Well, that was always going to jinx the run wasn’t it? In issue 59, Mike returned to report that...
After 98 games (or two years, four months, two weeks, two days, one hour and nineteen minutes), it finally happened and I can say I was there when Johnny scored. Just four weeks after Martin Keown scored his very first goal for the club, Johnny Jensen scored an absolute cracker of a goal which cheered everyone up on an otherwise miserable day.
Of the current first team squad, Johan Djourou only has a solitary goal to his name having broken his duck in the infamous 4-4 draw at Newcastle last season in his 101st appearance. Kieran Gibbs got his first goal against Shrewsbury earlier this season which leaves only Per Mertesacker as a regular outfield first team player who has yet to register. He went close with a header against Wolves so perhaps on the anniversary of JJ’s goal against QPR, the BFG will find the back of the net?
