Good morning everybody, you know it’s New Year’s Eve
And it’s time for all us Gooners to be starting to believe
That the squad that Monsieur Wenger has gone and put together
Has got the guts to battle and don’t go down like a feather.
We got beaten by the Mancs, both United and Man City,
And you know it ain’t by chance that the latter rhymes with s***y,
But although we drew with Wolves, we’re getting stronger week by week
And it won’t be long before we’re on another winning streak.

Are you listening, Stan and Ivan, in your gilded Christmas cages,
To the prayers of the people whose money pays your wages?
Do you know we need more players to support the ones we’ve got
To replace the ones who’re injured and the ones who should be shot?
Has Arsėne got the moolah to go out and buy a striker
And can you please prevent him from behaving like a piker?
We need some more midfielders who can make the crucial pass
Like the one at Stamford Bridge that left John Terry on his a**e.

Will Arsène tell Pat Rice, his ever-present henchman
“I’ve decided that we need to hire another ageing Frenchman,
He knows our style of playing and what’s more, he speaks my lingo
And he saves me forking out for an overvalued gringo.
He won’t be on the books too long, you understand the reason:
He’ll be gone in eight weeks’ time for the new American season”?
Will he try to save your dollars, Stan, and keep your profits flowing
Or will you take a longer view and keep our good streak going?

We know the transfer window opens up at 12 tomorrow,
But at the close will we look back in pleasure or in sorrow?
We’ve read the football gossip and we’ve heard the transfer rumours
But we’re not the Board or Manager, we’re just the dumb consumers.
So we wait with bated breath, if more in hope than expectation
That some quality will enter to improve the squad rotation.
And if some duds should chose to go and lighten our expense
We’ll cheer and pay a tribute to this sign of commonsense.

So when you’re greeting midnight with a verse of Auld Lang Syne
Have a thought for those whose futures we would like to realign,
For Nicklas and for Carlos, and Denilson and the rest
Who joined us in the hope that they would prove to be the best.
Farewell Chamakh and Andrei, and Sebastien as well
And to Vito and to Lukasz and to those we cannot spell.
And welcome to the Arsenal all the guys who’ll make a splash
And just hope that Stan and Arsène see the need to flash the cash.