A team in light blue will annoy the sh*t out of many opponents during this summer's silly season, simply by outbidding other clubs. Their current manager will not last the season though and they won't make it high enough in the league for Champions League football.

The media will add on average about 20% to the actual transfer fee of all players moving for sums in excess of £5 million. If they have no idea what the fee really is they will refer to it as £12 million.

An orange man with a deformed ear will be involved in next season's relegation battle. It couldn't happen to a nicer fellow.

During the course of the coming season an Arsenal attendance will be announced as being officially over 60,000 when it quite clearly isn't.

Sam Allardyce will remain a walrus-headed, overweight, graceless slug whose team will elbow, block, push, shove and kick players when they're not diving. He will however survive because no-one else wants to manage Blackburn or have him manage any other club.

An Italian side will be suspended for bribery. As will an Italian ref, an Italian politician, an Italian judge, an Italian robbery suspect up before a jury, an Italian vineyard owner and so on and so on.

A team in blue with a Russian owner will just fail, yet again, to meet their break-even budget. Most probably by somewhere between £50 and £200 million.

There will be a wailing and a gnashing of Gooner teeth throughout the summer due to continued and obsessive speculation about whom will not be arriving at Arsenal. Why they won't be arriving, how much they may have cost, and who is to blame.

A boring team in blue will continue to allow, and indeed encourage, their CEO to talk out of his arse before during and after the season.

Cesc Fabregas will not be sending a Christmas card to either Brian Horton or Phil Brown.