A very old geezer with about eight chins and the initials PHW will have a member of the press phone him after a seriously heavy lunch resulting in some quite embarrassingly pathetic comments about Arsenal or individuals related to it.

Tim Cahill will score from a header. Maybe from a corner, and maybe against us.

Black wig sales will continue to increase around Goodison Park.

Tony Adams will become a TV pundit on a regular basis to the confusion of all his viewers.

An English club side will put out their reserve team in order to throw a Europa Cup game because they're having problems in the league.

A very well known Arsenal manager will say 'We need to take our chances if we want to win game'.

Theo Walcott will be knackered before the season even starts.

El Hadj Djouf will act like a despicable little tosser whose exploits will be barracked at almost every ground in the country. Sorry the crystal ball was a tad cloudy, make that at every ground in the country.

Michael Owen will pick up an injury at some point during the season to everyone's amazement.

Brown envelopes will reappear in January as an integral factor of the transfer market. Did they ever go away?