Email 1: Arsenal are in danger of killing the match day experience. The ban on flags follows hot on the heals of the over zealous stewarding seen at the new stadium and the ill-judged threats made to those of us who travelled to Stamford Bridge intent on expressing our disapproval of Ashley Cole. I begin to wonder if the people who now run Arsenal have ever read ‘Fever Pitch’ and whether or not they understood what they were reading. What kind of atmosphere do they want at our home games? Polite clapping in the Hill-Wood style? Corporate braying over the canapés and free wine? If only there was an invisible force field surrounding Club Level that shuts it off from the rest of the fans. They could watch (or not watch as is often the case) in silence and the rest of us could create a bit of atmosphere. To paraphrase a famous quote – Could the last fan ejected from the new stadium please turn out the lights.

Email 2: I am so incandescent with rage on this subject (Arsenal’s national flag ban) I have written you another email.

Yet one more example of the dangers of trying to turn a football club into a brand. Come to Arsenal, we don’t want to offend anyone, just give us your money and you are welcome to visit, you don’t even have to be interested in football, if you prefer the cosy atmosphere of a VIP lounge why not try our Club Level before, after and even during the game. Don’t forget, unlike those smart West End theatres, we won’t refuse you entry if you are late.

You can imagine the meeting that they had at Highbury House when they came to the decision to ban the national flags. Blah, blah, blah, we can’t be seen to upset any ethnic minority, we can’t ban the flag of just one state so let’s ban all flags, flags might incite some sort of crowd trouble anyway, flags obscure our adverts (and so threaten our advertising revenue), the flags encourage people to stand up (steward, eject that fan), most of our new fans aren’t the type to wave a flag anyway, and, of course, the good old management argument – if any fans object we will just kick them out and ban them for life – problem solved.

At this rate it won’t be long before The Arsenal require its fans to swear an oath of allegiance (to what God only knows) before they are allowed entry to the theatre of the absurd.

Well bollocks to them, I am going to wear an England shirt to every home game until they lift the ban. And in case you think I am some BNP numpty I would be quite happy to see fans wearing every national strip under the sun.