I figured out Arsene's secret. He's crafty, so it took some time to put the pieces together. What was my first clue? Well, Mr. Wenger is a studious man, familiar with many disciplines beyond football. It really wasn't a shock then, to discover what he has been dabbling in.

Think back over the past ten years. Gooners have been treated to the apparently unexplainable phenomena of Arsenal's inevitable success on an annual basis. Sure, Arsene may claim that "modern training methods" are behind this incredible run. He can even mesmerize us with tantalizing concepts like "nutritional supplementation", "innovative plyometric programs" or "quality of spirit". But are these the incoherent babblings of a real football manager? Hardly. They are the incantations of an expert magician, casting his influence over an oblivious community of willing supporters worldwide. Don't you see that now?

Come on, why do you think he really went abroad to manage Nagoya Grampus Eight in Japan (for what he allegedly referred to as "my short but spell-binding stay")? Please, if you spent twenty months in virtual seclusion, you could turn yourself into a new person too - so why not a sorcerer? Remember the nickname given to Arsene by his former club's fans? It was "The Monaco Magician". Apparently, he decided to take that notion to the next level.

Still not convinced? Except for the current season, can you remember genuinely tough times since Arsene arrived? I'm not talking about one match or one week. Go ahead, try to recall a full month or more when you shrinked from being labeled a Gooner in public. I drew a blank too. Fast forward to today. All we talk about are the team's current trials and tribulations, and the foreboding omens for next season. It's as if the past decade was a seamless parade of gleaming trophies and double-decker buses. Oddly, that blissful perspective seemed to take hold after a press conference held earlier this season, when The Professor half-smiled at the cameras and started into his usual enchanting mantra ("I am satisfied with the character of this team, which is strong, and the players’ effort on the pitch, which is positive"). And then he snapped his fingers. It was like a white screen suddenly dropping in front of my eyes, washing away the last remnants of any turbulent memories from the Wegner-era. A new spell had been cast on us. This guy is good.

So what is going on now? He is not powerful enough to make us forget the ugly parts as they happen. Instead, he is using misdirection, a magician's fundamental skill for most tricks or illusions. We are compelled to look over there, when we should be looking over here. Arsene is a master of misdirection. I can't prove it, but he must have gazed into his crystal ball (standard issue for all sorcerer types) and, for this year, he saw in advance that there would be no Premiership title, no F.A. Cup repeat and no Carling Cup. There was only the faint glow of Champions League glory. So, glancing over at the fixtures list, he probably circled "April 22, 2006" (bet it was 3 times) and uttered a few mysterious phrases (do we really know all the languages this fellow speaks?). As a result, he has conjured up a never-ending flow of distractions: injured and unsigned stars, winless streaks, unexpected losses, young talent entering and exiting, and unexplained sightings of veterans wandering the streets around Arsenal Stadium (sometimes during matches).

What's his real purpose? What's behind this illusion of chaos that has the appearance of reality? Arsene is preventing us from seeing what will become the greatest spectacle of this farewell-to-Highbury season: Tottenham against Arsenal on April 22nd. An epic showdown of the fiercest rivals, played out at home, one last time. It will, most assuredly, be deemed the critical match to decide 4th place and a Champions League spot. Once the smoke clears on the latest flurry of problems, and with a brilliant Houdini/Blaine-like flare of self-promotion leading to the big event, Arsene will start to tease us through the media about the match to be discussed by generations of Gooners to come. Not another trophy, nor another record streak. That's been done. But an Arsenal victory of the highest order, all to be revealed on April 22nd in the most dramatic fashion.

Now, that would be a neat trick.