Rocky the King
The Arsenal AGM as reported appears to have taken a page out of the old Communist Politburo stage management of propaganda. Nothing that was newsworthy, save apparently rain falling on the exposed seats at the Emirates, as opposed to answering concerns about the possibility of dividends being paid to directors. Given that Kroenke owns two thirds of the shares, what better way to get even more profit than by taking money out of the club? Usmanov has reached 30% and now in theory he could make a takeover bid for the club, but will not, due to an apparent brokered agreement.
So what are Usmanov’s intentions?
Let us be frank and accept that his long-term intentions towards the club have not been clearly expressed in a manner that would prevent others making mischief. This is a pity, as it has allowed those who appear hostile towards him to fuel anxieties among the Gooner faithful, based upon what he has always asserted as being inaccurate allegations of his past. I have to confess that I too shared these anxieties. However, further detailed scrutiny of the archives clearly backs Mr Usmanov’s position. I am now convinced that it is clear that these inaccurate allegations have been based upon poor translations, the existence of two other individuals also called Alisher Usmanov, and the fact that no-one has published a detailed rebuttal based his presentation of the original charge sheet to Iain Cobain of the Guardian in 2007.
I welcome his decision to increase his holdings. I feel that now is the time to allow a positive gesture from the Board to Red and White Holdings which would benefit the club that we all profess to love. Remember, Őzil was paid for by BSkyB, not by Stan Kroenke or the Arsenal. In fact, after banking the extra £68 million from the Premier League, AFC will be over £10 million in profit before the commercial spin-offs are taken into account. What makes me angry is the waste of so many seasons whilst Wenger failed to strengthen the squad with world-class players. According to Wenger, he felt unloved by the fans, so that is more important than trophies??? WTF? Let’s hope Usmanov rips up the agreement and makes Kroenke an offer that he cannot refuse and we pension off Wenger and give someone like Laudrup £200 million to win us the Champions League.
NASA does not stand for “Need Another Seven Astronauts” a rather sick joke referring to the tragic loss of seven astronauts in the space shuttle Columbia on February 1st 2003. I recall watching the TV footage as the shuttle exploded shortly after take-off. It was so sad. Yet now apparently there is another NASA joke in town.
The furore over Roy Hodgson’s joke about space monkeys during half time of the Poland game has touched a raw nerve on both sides. On the side of the FA, the leaking of the comments to the press and the swift politically-correct apology by the man himself, shows that they wish to put this to bed as soon as possible. The fact that no player complained openly, they protest, is sufficient to give their manager a sound endorsement.
On the other side, there is an enraged player whose sensibilities have been offended and clearly didn’t like being turned into the betrayer of England team talks by the rest of the English speaking world. Apparently Roy Hodgson is suggesting the England players are becoming increasingly angry about the story. Ollie Holt of the Mirror feels that the misunderstanding has arisen because of the failure of young footballers to understand such erudite analogies by Hodgson, which was in fact a compliment to Andros Townsend. Humans should not over complicate things and sometimes doing the basics is more effective.
So here is the joke…
“NASA decided they’d finally send a man up in a capsule after sending only monkeys in the earlier missions.
“They fire the man and the monkey into space.
“The intercom crackles, ‘Monkey, fire the retros.’
“A little later, ‘Monkey, check the solid fuel supply.’
“Later still, ‘Monkey, check the life-support systems for the man.’
“The astronaut gets upset at being ignored and radios NASA, ‘When do I get to do something?’
“NASA replies, ‘Don’t touch anything, and in 15 minutes – feed the monkey.’”
The fact that the offended player failed to understand the joke is more embarrassing for him, and not a surprise, as the IQ of the majority of professional players is legendary for not being close to that of a rocket scientist. I can even imagine Hodgson finishing by summarising the joke by saying “So the moral of this joke is - don’t p*ss about, feed the monkey!”
It is also being reported that Manchester United are reportedly looking seriously at an FSF initiative of introducing safe standing areas in stadiums. Don’t expect the Politburo at Arsenal to move, as Comrade Gazidis has already said that the safety certificate for the Emirates specifically precludes standing areas. So, as in many areas, we mess around whilst Man Utd lead. Please support the FSF and put pressure on the Arsenal Board.
Finally, after victory on Saturday against Norwich, Arsenal remain top of the league for now. But remember that the curse of November approaches… with Liverpool, Dortmund and Man Utd calling. So what is it about the month of November and Arsenal having a dip in form? The curse of November appears to be a perennial malaise which causes us to doubt our sanity as well as reduce our chances of winning the league. Time was when we would go an entire season with only three defeats.
Followers of Witchcraft celebrate November for the Greek Goddess of Ghosts called Hecate. She was apparently revived after committing suicide by Artemis, and since then she has been the avenger of abused woman, a disciple of necromancy and a key symbol for curses and rituals intended to bring about misfortune. So she is clearly a Tottenham fan, and probably responsible for our recurrent run of form during November months.
Well, what else could be to blame? What many Gooners do not realise is that a Romany Gypsy who also happened to be a Tottenham supporter cursed the Emirates when it was being built. The Gypsy burnt an Arsenal shirt and then cursed its ashes. These ashes were then secretly brought on site by a labourer working on the new stadium who then buried the ashes in the concrete underneath the central area of the foundations to be laid underneath the Emirates pitch.
