Ian Tanner
As you may recall from long-gone schooldays, plagiarists are most often exposed by their incorrect answers. On the Naughty Step last month was Arsenal.com’s Adrian Clarke, anchor for the ever-so-slightly sycophantic The Breakdown. Clarke stated that the FA Cup loss to Watford came 756 days after our previous defeat (in a competition the manager supposedly refuses to take seriously), 0-1 against Blackburn Rovers, who will, unfortunately, remain a while yet the last team to win the FA Cup three seasons consecutively. That February 2013 defeat was more than 1,100 days before, of course. Clarke’s erroneous “fact” was presumably lifted from the BBC’s unbiased but gleeful online report of our humiliating Cup exit. Twenty days later, The Hornets returned, hoping to sting us (geddit?) a second time in the same painful spot.
Until very recently, only the most fanatical Gooners knew their Alex Iwobis from their Benik Afobes, their Chuks Anekes from their Chuba Apkoms. And Alex Iwobis is the operative term, for I’m convinced there’s actually more than one Number 45. Like dust, he seems to be everywhere, though always in the right place. His rise from periphery of the first-team squad to automatic starter makes the similar achievements last season of Hector Bellerin (we are not worthy, Oh Great One) and Francis Coquelin appear positively pedestrian by comparison. Jack, Santi, The Ox, Flamini and Rambo may have to form an orderly queue just to make the bench of this allegedly paper-thin squad.
Does Iwobi have some hygene issshhooos, though? I only ask because he is always accorded more space, whether on-the-ball or not, than a twenty-five-stone sumo wrestler suffering flatulence, severe body odour and halitosis to boot. Alex reminds me of Norman Whiteside, who was similarly strong in the tackle, at least when opponents did not shirk the challenge. Power, pace, left-foot, right-foot, and control. As The Pointer Sisters sang: I’m so excited / And I just can’t hide it. But such is Iwobi’s technical ability (and intelligence, according to his manager), I don’t think he’s about to lose control.
Edith Piaf had no regrets; Frank Sinatra had a few; I have just one. If only Iwobi had joined in the January transfer window for £25m+, after months of press speculation before finally choosing us over a host of other big-name suitors, both here and abroad, vying for his signature in a bidding war frenzy, Arsenal and Arsene may be given far more credit than is coming their way. Alex would probably now be described as a bargain, as well as England’s loss. As a corollary, it may also have given pause for thought to at least some of Arsene’s would-be assassins, ever-eager to commit regicide: perhaps our greatest manager has not “lost it” just yet?
As it is, received wisdom is that Iwobi only got his chance at Camp Nou because Arsene was forced to rotate his Ian Jury-ravaged squad ahead of the far more important trip to Goodison Park less than seventy-two hours later. Moreover, had the plethora of cropped midfielders (see list above) been fit (as if), they would have blocked the young Nigerian’s development, leading to Alex Iwobi being either sold for an Alex Song (geddit?) or sent out on loan to some northern backwater.
The crowd is fickle, Arsene. But I don’t think Iwobi will be forgotten in a month.
Just a quick note to mention that we are recording the April Gooner podcast this evening. Our panelists will be David Oudot, Mike Francis and Nigel Phillips of the Arsenal Supporters Trust. If you have any topics or questions you wish the panel to debate, and get a namecheck in the process, please either…
Email them to [email protected]
Tweet them to @GoonerPodcast
or just leave them in the comments below this article. Thanks.
