Young immigrants are often unfairly tarnished with bad reputations. Sometimes however, the reputation that they acquire is wholly justified. They run amok in their local communities, generally causing havoc but their mischief ends up amounting to very little.

Arsenal recognise that this is a particular problem in the Islington area, and in conjunction with Islington Borough Council and the Mayor’s Office, are pleased to announce this new ground-breaking initiative:

“Taking Chances”

On the back of the Premier League’s successful launch of the “Creating Chances”, one which Arsenal Football club proudly piloted last season, this new campaign is designed to encourage young immigrants to use their energy positively by setting themselves targets, goals if you will, and staying focused on what is truly required to succeed in this harsh, competitive world.

The campaign will headed by local youngsters Alexandr Hleb, Cesc Fabregas, Tomas Rosicky and Emmanuel Adebayor, all of whom have suffered under successive failed government initiatives, most notably John Major’s “If you score, your opponent will start crying” policy.

At the launch, Alex Hleb spoke of this once in a lifetime opportunity “ I HAVE A DREAM…I HAVE A DREAM THAT ONE DAY…10 GOALS! If we all work together to be more selfish, I think we can do it“.

Cesc Fabregas agreed “ This initiative has taught me that passing to a team-mate is not the answer. From now on, I say f**k ‘em. You see, my landlady taught me good English”.

“My problem was always the bad influences around me”, said Emmanuel Adebayor “ I was too interested in dancing - I realise I should be loving… the back of the net.”

Tomas Rosicky explained his mental torture “ When you join this club, you just can’t help but be influenced by the players around you. I was taught that it is wrong to humiliate other people. But this program will change all that”.

Many clubs in the Premier League will be taking a keen interest in the success of the scheme. Already, several clubs have similar such initiatives in the works, aimed at arresting local community problems.

Bolton: “Dealing with (neck) pain”

Spurs: “Coping with loss”

Man Utd: “Football and dermatology - why one cannot separate them”

Chelsea: “Why the Beatles were so wrong”