Okay, everyone got their disco togs on? Good, here goes then…

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never turn Spurs into a top four side
But I spent oh so many nights thinking how Stalteri did me wrong
Perhaps I'm wrong but I'll just have to carry on

And we'll be back, into fifth place
Wait till the transfer window, sign another waste of space
I should have sold Paul Robinson, I should have dropped him from the team
If I had known for just one second he'd concede more than Derby

Go on now go – Bent, there's the door
Just turn around now 'cause you don't score goals anymore
Weren't you the one who cost more than Thierry Henry?
I knew you'd crumble, I'd rather have Emile Hes-key.

But I, I will survive
Oh, if we just win the next six games I know I'll stay alive
I've got Tainio who is crap and Huddlestone who's just fat
But I'll survive, I will survive

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend Defoe's relationship with his little tart
And I spent oh so many nights trying on John Barnes's tights
And oh I've cried, I want the Spurs job till I die!

And you see Keane, he hates me too
I subbed him off when we were winning then we went and effing drew!
And now I'm scratching my big chin, should I just sell Ledley King?
If I'm gonna save my skin I'll need some Labour party spin

Oh yes I, I will survive
Levy wants the Special One because he’s got more drive
Or that bloke who’s at Seville, just the thought it makes me ill
Hang on what’s that? You say my pay off is four mill??

Go on now go, I’m out the door
Don’t need you nasty dirty scum fans any more
Tottenham have no class, so stick your job right up your arse
And I’ll survive, yes I’ll surviiiiiiiiiiiiive!