They say that players reflect their manager so it was no surprise that you made some inane remark about Arsenal keeping their beautiful football and we will keep our title. Your title, you have played no part in winning anything for your team and as yet you have only played in a couple of matches and we are still waiting for you to make a forward pass, so let me just gently remind you how it really is:

Of the 60,000 plus at Ashburton Grove and the millions watching world wide, none, absolutely none, watched or tuned in to see you play, they came to see Cesc, Helb and our two brilliant attacking full backs. They came to see who out of the array of stars that were on display could turn the match.

The Crab Mark 2 was the last player on the fans’ mind and to bring you crashing down to earth Alan Brazil summarizing for Talksport said today that he could have done your job on the pitch. Your manager has always paid the highest price for his players and you are no exception, trust me you will never ever again be sold for 17 million, just like Ferdinand will never be sold again for 27 million, you see it has never been his money, so why should he care.

We played a great game the other weekend against the real number one team in this country and rather than make crass remarks against us, senior Liverpool players, far better players than you may I suggest, praised our team’s performance and said we were one of the best sides to visit Anfield for many a year.

Your boss, when he is frightened of a team starts inventing stories, claiming he is being victimised etc. The greater his paranoia the more worried he is about the team, so we now know how worried he is about Arsene’s third team.

Perhaps you were a bit overawed at playing at our wonderful new ground. Well let me tell you this is not the first time we have plied our trade in a brand new super stadium. Eighty odd years ago we completed the “State of the art” ground that was Highbury, our players changed in underfloor heated, fully tiled changing rooms while United players stripped off in what was really no more than a shed under the stands. Our players trained in a modern complex whilst your players were training with their whippets on “Salford Flats”. We had a fully equipped treatment room, your preference was for the good old “bucket and sponge”

So the next time you play for England and you make one of your special sideways passes and the crowd starts booing you please don’t wonder why, it will be because you have just insulted a club with over 150,000 members. The Guinness Book of Records say we have the largest paid up membership base in the world, yes Owen, bigger than your Man U - didn’t you know that? No, I thought not. Then I also suppose you don’t know that your new club is 660 million in debt and the reason they bought you for so much money is because when you owe hundreds of millions of pounds what is another 17 million quid to stop someone else from buying you?

To give another example of your boss’s madness he has today stated he thinks all clubs should have a minimum quota of British home grown players. That could mean trouble for you Owen, still some good news: I hear your other boss is in America sorting out his next job because he is a bit unsure about England’s next game against Croatia, as it appears that the Balkan team has a tasty centre forward who scores goals for fun. However if Steve gets the job I am sure he will find a place in the team for you. Just imagine, you and Becks together in a “star studded” midfield for the LA Galaxy.

To finish Owen and please think on this: Arsenal invented modern football, we were winning hat-trick titles whilst half of Canada lay undiscovered and we will take no crap from a player born in a country that is famous for ice hockey and ski jumping, I notice that you were born in Calgary which is famous for the winter Olympics and that is rather apt because you are to football in this country what “Eddie the Eagle” was to Ski Jumping… an embarrassing joke!