Tonight sees England’s last gasp chance at reaching next years Euro Championship and I must say that the apathy I feel towards this clash borders on indifference. Headlines that intimate McLaren’s deepest thoughts, Crouch alone up top and Lampard as play maker add to the encompassing ennui.

To be fair it’s not McLaren’s fault I feel this way. England always leave me underwhelmed no matter how they perform or who the gaffer is. All the arguments and hype leave me feeling the same way. We’re not as good as we like to think we are and it’s not as important as how my club does. It’s nothing to do with a perceived foreign invasion that has stifled the quality of our ASBO boys. We’re crap and not worth watching.

When you spend the whole season slagging a player off, how can you suddenly become his biggest fan when he pulls on the Three Lions? Week in, week out I’m praying Paul Robinson drops a clanger or two that costs his club side Spurs vital points and to be fair he often obliges. I can’t suddenly get upset when he carries his club form onto the international stage. That would be hypocrisy.

Then we have the all-consuming debate about defensive partnerships. Terry, Ferdinand, Upson, Granny Smith, really I couldn’t give a rubber duck whether Wes Brown partners Micah Richards or Mick Jagger. With Terry and Ferdinand playing for our rivals I hope they slip up consistently. In fact it bugs me when they don’t.

Then there’s Frank Lampard. Whenever I look at players I wonder whether I would want them at The Arsenal. With Lampard I wouldn’t want him at my local team here Persija. OK, perhaps he might be useful for the odd deflected goal but you can’t build a team around flukes. Gerrard and Lampard? Pick Chas and Dave or Torvill and Dean for all I care.

Up front we truly are blessed with an abundance of striking talent. Owen spends more time in hospital than a trainee doctor. Peter ‘but he has a good first touch for a big man’ Crouch may be a minnow muncher extraordinaire but against quality he is always likely to be found short. Bent. Woo woo. Defoe is probably the one player I wouldn’t have minded seeing at the Arsenal but now he wouldn’t get a place on the bench.

There’s not one player in the current England set up I would have at the Arsenal, not one. But while people out there moan about the number of foreigners in our game think on this. In 74, 78 and 94 we were also absent from the World Cup and we managed to do that with next to no foreigners in the league.

Don’t get me wrong, don’t think because I live so far from England I hate my country. Far from it. I have an England flag hanging prominently in my house and have had most of the time I have been abroad. I have followed England in the past, more for a laugh and a beer than in any expectation. I even followed England on an Ashes tour once. But now I really can’t be bothered with the overpaid, over-hyped prima donnas too busy planning their next ‘Hello’ appearance or their next book.

Bring on Wigan!

To read more of Jakarta Casual’s writing, his blog can be found here.