Yes it’s true, all Arsenal songs should contain a Government health warning due to what I call the “speed freaks” amongst our fans that for some reason seem determined to sing all our songs at 100mph! If anyone knows why they do this, answers on a postcard to the usual address please!

Less than three weeks ago I was in the away end at Fulham when the new Adebayor song, first heard at Villa was sung loud and proud. When everyone had got the words and sung together it sounded absolutely fantastic, pure noise drowning out everything else.

Everyone who was there was saying how good it was, even the tabloid journos were writing about it in the next day’s toilet paper! We also kept it going for ages, something very rare these days; it was almost like the good old days!

Now just weeks later and unbelievably the song has been speeded up! Those damned “speed freaks” again have taken a really decent, slow song and for no reason blatantly speeded it up.

It’s a very simple song: Adebayor, Ade-bay-or (hold for 3 secs), give him the ball and he will score! That’s how it was sung at Fulham, but now the bit where you hold for three seconds is now down to two, hence having the effect of speeding up the song! Now this might not seem like much but believe me it makes a big difference!

And it’s not just the new ones either; almost every Arsenal song has been taken over by the “speed freaks”. “Good old Arsenal”, “The w*nky Tottnum Hotspur”, “We all follow the Arsenal”, even the song for Mathieu Flamini for crying out loud! All songs that should be sung slowly, loud and proud are now sung faster than a speeding bullet!

As for “B’jesus said Paddy”, it’s got absolutely no chance! Again if it was sung properly as intended it’s a great, original Arsenal song (something people are always moaning we don’t have). But the speed that it’s sung at makes it impossible to get going. By the time you join in everyone else has finished, it’s ridiculous!

I’ve sat in most parts of the ground this season and everywhere has been guilty of “speeding” up our songs, but I have to say in my opinion the speeding up is worse in the Redsection.

Whilst there’s no question they are great for creating a fantastic noise which does filter around our stadium, there are people in there who are singing our songs too fast. And because they lead the rest of the stadium, this speed singing has a knock-on effect. So I reckon that if the Redsection slowed down with our songs then the rest of the stadium would follow.

Whilst I’m on the subject why do some people insist on clapping to every song we sing? It really isn’t necessary and it’s a big part of the reason why songs are speeded up, plus it’s very annoying. For example at the Newcastle game, some people were clapping to the new Adebayor song! Why?? Just sing the words! Even “Good Old Arsenal” isn’t meant to have a clapping soundtrack, again it’s just meant to be sung loud and slow.

So I want get agreement amongst our Gooner brethren to try to sing all our songs slowly and without unnecessary clapping. Come on, let’s give it a try, it’s not difficult to do and the difference in our songs would be amazing!

Imagine 9,000 Gooners singing “B’jesus said Paddy” at Old Toilet on Saturday week, all together, loudly and slowly. It would be immense! And when we sing “Good Old Arsenal”, remember how they sang it in the 70’s - slow and proud - and that’s what we want now. The “Slow Down our Songs” campaign starts here…