Since the 2008 season ended (all of four days at the time of writing) I have been checking Arsenal.com in eager anticipation of the announcement of a stunning new signing (Klaus Jan Huntelaar? Vincent Kompany? Gareth Barry? Jimmy Bullard?) So you can imagine my surprise and horror when a quick bit of surfing led me to this article in which Arsene Wenger boldly states that anyone criticising Emmanuel Eboue “is wide of the mark”.

It makes depressing reading knowing that Arsene has clearly got no intention of offloading Eboue - the worst (not to mention most annoying) player to play for The Arsenal since John Kosmina, the Aussie who literally sh*t himself before coming on for his debut 30 years ago. (Well maybe Igors Stepanovs was worse but there’s not much in it)

When speaking to shareholders last week, Arsene argued that Eboue “adds balance” to the team. For God’s sake Arsene, I had stabilisers on my bike until I was 6; they added balance but I got rid of them as soon as my Dad bought me a Chopper (it was actually a Tomahawk but if Gordon Brown can tell whoppers then so can I). Sorry to digress there but I’m still in a state of shock to discover that Arsene doesn’t just play Eboue because everyone else is injured.

Arsene went on to compare Eboue to Ray Parlour and at that point my eyes glazed over. Can any Gooner tell me what Eboue has contributed to our season? He has made 36 appearances, scored none, set up one, received plenty of yellow & red cards, put in several nasty, vindictive challenges and generally alienated 99% of supporters with some dreadful performances.

In my experience of following Arsenal, we hardly ever turn on our own players – only once in thirty years can I remember an Arsenal player being booed and that was some half-hearted booing of Kevin Campbell against Bolton in a 1-3 FA Cup defeat on an awful winter night in 1995. Eboue hasn’t yet received that treatment but I for one will be very disappointed if we turn up in August to find him occupying the right midfield berth again.

If Arsenal are to mount a sustained challenge to the financial monsters of Moan Utd, Chelski, Real Madrid, Barca and others we will need players that offer a lot more than just balance. Arsene Knows! I hope he knows where Eboue’s jacket is because it’s time to “get yer coat” Emmanuel old son!!