I might have favoured ‘The Apprentice’ this evening, but as all the better looking women have been knocked out, I’ll suffer the match in Moscow.

Very difficult to really find positive reasons to support either side. For entertainment, you’d go for United, but for the look of misery on Alex Ferguson’s face, you’d go for Chelsea. It’s a tough call. The only up side is that one detested bunch has to lose.

There is a conspiracy theory that Chelsea were always going to win this trophy once Moscow was – for reasons that have never been properly explained – chosen to host it. Still, with Istanbul and Athens in recent years, ease of access has never concerned the bigwigs at UEFA and in fact, I guess it’s a form of insurance against too many ticketless fans travelling to the final and creating havoc as the Rangers fans did last week in Manchester. Mind you that didn’t stop the Liverpool fans in Athens, but the visa requirements and the Russian security forces will take care of any chance of a repeat later today.

Anyway, I’d actually enjoy the conspiracy theory if it was blatant. In that Chelsea won the trophy, entirely without merit, due to an obviously shocking decision that would expose the truth. Can you imagine Ferguson on the touchline then! It would make great television. And no-one would give Chelsea any credit except the Russians who accept buying your way to the top of the tree and bribing whoever it requires (John Arne Riise anyone?) as legitimate business practice. In that respect, Moscow could just be the perfect venue.

What I don’t want to see is Chelsea win the trophy by fair means. Why spoil the habits instilled by Jose Mourinho?

It will actually be nice to not give a fig in reality. I’ll just sit back and enjoy the entertainment, comforted by the fact that if my team was on the losing end, I’d face a killer of a flight back to the UK and feel like absolute sh*t at the end of it. Better to go out in the quarter finals than suffer that. Rome next year, Madrid in 2010. Those are trips I could look forward to.

Of course, we’d have somehow made it to Moscow if Arsenal hadn’t been cheated out of it, but at least the season ticket renewal won’t hurt quite as much as it would have. Actually, a Chelsea fan I’ve the vaguest acquaintance of has just popped into my head. That’s decided it then. I can’t have that bloody idiot crowing about winning the European Cup before we’ve managed it. A spurious reason maybe, but the best I can find. It’s the Red Devils then. At least they’ve won it before, so they’re not putting one over us. Still can’t say I care that much though.