The world was plunged into chaos yesterday as a once proud establishment was left struggling to survive amid its worst results experienced for decades. In the wake of turmoil that has become known as ‘Black Monday’, those connected with this incredible downturn spoke of their misfortunes.

One tearful insider said, ‘We were promised that our long term prospects would rise, bringing an end to our continuing mediocre position in the national and international order of influence. But a stream of disastrous results has pushed us into free-fall and any hopes for an upward trend have disappeared. The scale of our losses mean we’re on the brink of collapse. It’s desperate here and the mood here is dark’.

Another person connected to this troubled institution also gave his view. Trembling with shock, he said ‘We thought the recent transactions that ran into many millions of pounds would have kept us in good stead. But it was a false economy. Our deals were fatally flawed because we sold our best assets and replaced them with worthless junk that has no chance of performing well. We’re on the precipice and we may disappear forever’.

Unsurprisingly, due to the scale of this disaster, the board and executive level has come under scrutiny. Indeed, there have been calls from shareholder groups to examine the ‘criminal mismanagement that has obviously occurred for many years.’

Such calls led the Managing Director to issue a statement. ‘I understand the frustration and concerns that have arisen due to these most unfortunate of events,’ said Mr. Daniel Levy. ‘But I remain resolutely behind Juande Ramos who I trust implicitly until probably about Christmas, when it will be time for another change.’