It’s a shame the World Cup is over. I know a lot of the football was pretty ordinary, but those people who managed to get out there had a whale of a time. Great country, nice weather and a superbly organised event, even for the masses that didn’t have tickets. Germany would get my vote every four years.

What was particularly good was the fact that, with any luck, the competition finally shattered the myth of the England team. You know the stuff you get in the red tops. “World Class!”, “Brilliant!”, “The best defender / striker / winger [take your choice] in Europe!”. All this nonsense is trotted out to flog newspapers and is usually backed up by the amount of money the players earn a week. The inference being that anyone who is paid that amount must be good. Adjectives like “average”, “run of the mill” and “okay” don’t look good in print. But it’s high time we accepted that this is the reality and try to forget the hype. I always thought Wenger got it spot on when he decided to ignore English players. The argument looks pretty obvious. Not particularly talented, tactically thick and expensive.

So where does that leave the Arsenal Lions of Baden-Baden? Sol? The whole world and his wife, with the possible exception of Sven, knew that his legs had gone. It’s a shame, but I’m almost glad he didn’t get a lot of match time. It would only have been a matter of time before he got taken to the cleaners, and there is a limit to the number of times you can flounce off to Belgium (perhaps he can’t resist their chips – that would explain a lot). Once you start talking about acting careers, your number’s up really. Fresh challenges at Portsmouth? Yeah, right.

Ashley Cole? Well, Graham Poll must be pleased to have lost that little song that rhymed with his surname, and we’ve at last discovered what our Ash keeps up his arse. It was his head all the time! Mystery solved. I, for one, can’t wait to read his book. It must be a riveting read. “Born Stepney. Played Hackney Marshes. Played Arsenal and England. Married a celeb. Listened to an agent. Became greedy and had delusions of grandeur. The End.” I wonder if it’ll be short listed for a prize? I can’t somehow picture Dennis or Kolo pulling the same sort of stunt, but you have to admit its pretty shrewd marketing. Produce a book for the Arsenal readership and then antagonise and alienate your customers. Pure genius.

The one I really feel sorry for is young Theo. He really was thrown to the sharks / wolves / chavs. Who’s bright idea was that? He will be guilty by association for the rest of his life. His career is as good as over and he hasn’t even kicked a ball. Job experience? He must be tactically confused, bored senseless and has probably acquired a £1000-a-day gambling habit. Did his girlfriend escape the clutches of Dull Spice in the end? If you see the young girl at the new stadium looking like an animation from a Pepperami advert, with silicon tits, you can fear the worst. That’s assuming the ASBO they all received from that Black Forest magistrate allows her to go to matches. Wish both Theo and his girl the best. They’re both going to need it. With his family connections, why on earth didn’t he plump for Trinidad and Tobago?