What the f**k was that all about? It must have been a brilliant game for a neutral. BUT I’M NOT A F**KING NEUTRAL! I’m an Arsenal fan who appreciates the beautiful game but understands that you have to be able to lock up, or at least close the door firmly shut, failing that at least leave it pushed to. Put the wood in the hole! Never on any account leave the key under the mat with an open door and directions on how to enter unopposed together with a printed invite.

The defending from both sides would have made our ‘71 double side curl up in hysterical laughter. That, or die with embarrassment. I quite agree with whoever it was who said that just about everything that could go wrong did go wrong. But we were clearly four, maybe five goals better than them even without even trying. The way to take the p*ss when 4-2 up is to keep on putting the ball in the back of their net. We gave them the game. But not only did we give it to them, we gift-wrapped it and let them choose their own colour ribbon.

Where is the b*llocks in this team? Who is there to say over my dead body? Where is the leadership? Who puts their body on the line? I’m bemused. Totally bemused.

The goal attempts ran out at 20-9, while the goals stood at 4-4.... that’s four poxy f**king goals conceded from a miserable nine attempts! Eleven year olds find it difficult to be that inept defensively.

I am enraged, mad, furious, irate, p*ssed off, livid, disgusted, appalled, displeased, angry, maniacal, crazed, distracted, horrified, confounded, dumbfounded and totally dismayed. The steam from my ears has melted all the remaining snow in the area. I am far, far more than a tad narked, I am apo-f**king-pocaliptic.

We gave them a goal start, proceeded to sh*t on them from a great height and then, after failing to nail their balls to the goal post we stepped aside and gave them two of the most ill deserved points anyone will ever take away in a gift-wrapped carton from the Emirates. Points given away free with a couple of cheaply gifted goals when the game should have been done and dusted and the Scum should have been trampled underfoot. This will be the worst memory we’ll have this season until the next time we play without a single player capable of snuffing out a limp-wristed pigmy like Modric.

The late Wilf Copping would have been more effective from his bloody grave. Peter Storey would have put the rat-faced c**t into row C. Tone would have snuffed out any of the lily-white tw*ts just by glaring at them.

It was a pathetic outcome to a game that should have been done and dusted. I demand an apology.