For balance…

Pick me up points from a regular email correspondent



For balance…

John Cleese: Words of wisdom!


Ed’s note – I sometimes exchange emails with Ian Tanner after posting my own views such as yesterday’s – he tends to have a more optimistic outlook, and arguably more perspective. In the name of balance I asked him if I could post the following and he agreed. So in this instance, you have permission to shoot the messenger rather than the author!

Being a Libran sucks. It’s the scales, you see; always trying to weigh things up before deciding which way to jump. I wish I knew right now whether the Arsenal future was filled with optimism and silverware to match the silky football (as Arsene claims), or whether we will never win another Premiership under AW, nor Champions League, as you predicted yesterday. As John Cleese said in Clockwise: “It’s not the despair; I can cope with that. It’s the hope.”

A few facts.

First, the Totts scored through four different Englishmen. That could be a pub trivia question in the future.

Second, we’ve now scored 44 goals in 16 competitive matches this season (with 13 conceded). We’ve scored 4 or more on 6 occasions. Last term we scored 4+ just four times in 58 games. Despite the lies, damn lies, saying, that’s quite an improvement. Perhaps - glass half-full - we will simply outscore teams in future. This reminds me of the West Indian fast bowler Andy Roberts’ saying: “It doesn’t matter how many runs we score; we’ll bowl out the opposition for less”.

Let’s break down the 13 conceded:

1 very dodgy penalty (in Kiev, or however one spells it)

3 directly from corners

3 contenders for Goal of the Month and / or Season - Geovanni, Leadbitter and Bentley

1 own goal. Silvestre for Fenerbahce to get back to 1-2.

1 Clichy slip - from which last night’s third came. Pity his few errors seem so costly, always, as others have noted.

That leaves four, including follow-ups from Bent and Lennon last night to rebounds from long shots. For another, Song was replacing Sagna at right back and was culpable against Everton. That leaves Fenerbahce’s second to make it 2-4, from which they were never going to equalise, of course.

The above perhaps has me talking myself into an optimistic mood. But there are reasons to share the general anger / frustration etc. today. Adebayor is on the website saying: “Maybe we thought the game was over”. Arsene certainly did, and my mate was critical of the substitutions of a manager who should know better. It was as if we’d declared, cricket-style, and were prepared to give those Lane suckers an even break, which they duly took. Apart from the opening exchanges, when our passing was poor and we looked nervous, the gulf in quality between the two teams was as wide as the gap in the league positions. But before Robin and Theo were subbed, our levels dropped. When will we learn? Weren’t the final few minutes at Anfield last April painful enough? How much more over-celebrating - leading to loss of concentration and momentum - must we witness before goals scored are celebrated with old-fashioned handshakes and rolled up sleeves as we prepare to get at ‘em again. Surely the time to celebrate is after the game when “the dealing’s done”, to quote an old pop song?

Third, and here’s an interesting one (if I do say so myself). We’ve scored in 15 of the 16 games played. The opposition have scored in 8 of those 16. Yet the oppo have scored the first goal in 6 of those matches. I’d like to get a statistician’s viewpoint on this. And I don’t mean some anorak like Statto or the BBC’s over-rated Jonathan Pearce. I mean an academic who deals with numbers, sequences and probabilities and can test for statistical “significance”. What it says to me (again) is that we often only get going once we’ve gone behind and therefore mentally feel we’ve nothing to lose - just like last night. It’s as if going 0-1 down liberates us, enabling us to play the football we all know the lads can until, horror of horrors, we level or take the lead when, quite often, we hit the mental panic button “Oh, no, what do we do now ?!”

Don’t despair completely.

Just to complete the picture, I responded…

I think I am so depressed because I now know the title is over as a dream for us. We are not made of the right stuff. I didn’t think we were, but was prepared to suspend my disbelief. Until last night.

And not being made of the right stuff is not what I associate with Arsenal.

I asked Ian if he would be okay with my publishing his views on the website for balance and he responded it would be okay, but…

“Having said that, I find myself agreeing with many of your comments."


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